My Sanity
by WannaBeNinja
Summary: Keiyo & Kyoki have lost their minds. The troublesome twosome pique Aizen & Gin's curiosity, are caught up with their two babysitting Números & run into two enemy Shinigami. The polar pair can't seem to stay out of trouble. Insanity prevails! ON HOLD
1. My Sanity

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine to bend and mold!

OK! I'm insane...This is my attempt at being semi-funny?  
Hmm, SweetYuya & I were chatting last night...  
This is the idea that popped into my head during that conversation...  
Some of the comments in this one-shot were made by/to SweetYuya  
So, she's like co-author/thinker...Right...  
(Hope you don't mind me using our complete randomness as part of the story haha)  
We have some of the best conversations! HEH  
OOO & thank you for helping me with Kyoki's name!!_  
_

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_**My Sanity**_  
Aizen stood in the entry way of his throne room. His head tilted slightly to the side as he stared at his seat. There, grinning like an idiot was a girl. A girl sitting on his throne and she didn't seem to notice he had entered at all.

"Oh my holy hell! This is _the _throne." She plopped into the seat and laid her arms on the armrest. Her hands patted happily on the ends, as her smile slowly fell. "Kinda uncomfy…," she mumbled in disappointment. She had thought it would have been the most comfortable place in all of Las Noches. Suddenly she was bouncing around the chair and looking at it from every angle.

Aizen couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips. Suddenly the girl spun around, her wide eyes landing on him leaning against the doorway. He waited for fear to sink in, for her to realize who _he _was and what _she _was doing. "Oh my holy hell!" the girl squealed and jumped down the steps the throne sat on top of. "I found him!" the girl said in a sing song voice. She skipped over to him and grinned happily in his face. "Hello!"

Aizen eyed the girl up and down. 'She is an Arrancar alright. Not a Números, maybe a Fracción.' He was also quite intrigued that she didn't seem scared of him. Her hair rolled down her back in soft white waves. Her gray, nearly white eyes looked up at him in pure curiosity and eagerness. Her right eye had slightly curved lines shooting from the corner. As if someone put black eyeliner on her and decided to give her wings. The remnants of her mask started above her right eyebrow and curves up into three sharp points over her hair.

He pushed himself off the wall and stood at his full height. The girl had to crane her head back to look up at him. He smirked down at her and raised his hand to her face, gently caressing her uncovered cheek.

"Now why are you in here," he asked in his husky all too calm voice. He expected a stuttered answer. He thought she'd bow to him and rush out of the room trying to get as far as possible. He didn't, however, expect her to grab his hand with both of hers and jump up and down happily.

"OH! Such a good question! Well you see…" His eyes traveled from her lips to her chin, down her neck, to the top of her breast. Smirking, he watched them bounce lightly as she spoke at lightening speeds. He could see a nice bit of cleavage from his height, since her tight knee length white coat was only clasped under her bust. She wore a small black top underneath, doing nothing to hide her stomach and the top of her chest. Her white pants were hanging low and the black belt held them up, like any normal Arrancar wore. On her right hip, right under her hip bone, was a small hole - the other indication of her status as a once hollow. His eyes shot back to her face when his hand was brought to her chest and she had a pleading look on her face. "So can you help me?"

Aizen came to the conclusion that he had no clue what this little eye candy had been saying. All he could feel was the swell of her breast on his clutched hand. Smirking, he tore his hand away and quickly pinned her to the wall he'd been leaning on earlier. "You, Pet, seem to have forgotten your place," he whispered, as he leaned over breathing down her neck. She shivered from his closeness but he only seemed to move his body closer. "You are in _my _throne room, within _my _realm." His hands traveled down to her hips and held themselves there, keeping her in place. He opened his mouth to continue his tiny lecture when he heard a gasp.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

A girl with straight pitch black hair quickly walked down the hallways. Her hands held together tightly in front of her. Her almost pure black eyes flickered back and forth, as if she was waiting for someone to pop out at her. She had the same wing like design as the other girl, though it was pure white on her dark skin and it was on her left eye instead of her right. Her broken Hollow mask was a copy of the others, though it started above her left eyebrow -not her right- and curved up into three sharp points over her hair. The mask and the small hole under her left hip bone giving away her identity as one of the once Hollows.

Her white jacket, was lined in black, and flowed down to her ankles. The jacket was cut so her shoulders were half bare, and a small collar around her neck connected to two thin straps helped to hold the coat up. A thin white belt tucked under her bust held the jacket closed. While a small black shirt covered her chest underneath, though it did little to cover her stomach or the top of her chest. Her white pants flowed and were held up with the standard black belt. She made a distressed noise in the back of her throat and peeked into another door. "Damnit, Kei! Where are you?" the girl whined and pouted before continuing her search. Finally, she arrived at the end of the hallway and she froze.

Her head traveled up the big door that stood in her path, her eyes as wide as saucers and her mouth in a comical 'O' shape. Slowly her hands came up, her sleeves falling, and her fingers jumped to the front of her mouth. "I bet I'm not supposed to go in there," she said her mouth slowly forming a grin. "But there is no _'do not enter' sign."_ She hopped from one foot to the other as she reached out and pushed the door open.

Taking a few steps in she finally saw someone, her hand flew back to her mouth, hiding her gasp. Aizen and his captive turned to look at her. The ex shinigami was waiting for the proper reaction from the girl, but he received none. The new arrival wasn't even looking at him! The girl pointed a black painted fingernail at the girl he had pinned against the wall. "Adulatory!" the black haired girl yelled.

Aizen's eyes flew back to the girl in front of him when she gasped and her hands flew to her mouth. The white haired girl looked from the other girl back to him. She lightly smacked his chest and gave him a teasing smirk. "You, sir, are trying to create a scandal, aren't you?" Aizen's eyebrow raised as the two girls looked at each other once more before they fell into a fit of giggles.

Clearing his throat and trying to calm his confused and slightly sizzling annoyance, he grabbed the white haired girls' wrist. "No need to be rough," the girl muttered, as he stepped over and grabbed the black haired girl as well.

"Oh, he must like to be the _Dom_ in the relationship," the black head whispered to the other.

The white haired girl nodded before biting her lip and whispering back."I wouldn't mind."

"Enough!" Aizen said loudly, stopping and standing the two girls before his throne.

"Oh, use your indoor voice," the white head said to him as a mother would scold a child. "That was an outdoor voice." The black haired girl was nodding her agreement next to her.

"Sit! Now!" he growled out before walking up the few steps and taking a seat on his throne.

At the same time both girls fell to the butts and sat Indian style on the floor. "Is it story time?" the black head asked.

Shrugging, the white haired one began to rock side to side in her spot. "I'unno. But I sat in that chair." The black head looked utterly envious. "It's not very comfy." Both girls' faces fell in disappointment.

"Stop talking." Both girls nodded and gave him their full attention. Letting out a sigh, Aizen rubbed his forehead. "Now, who are you two?" Both girls looked at each other, tilted their heads and looked back at the man on the throne. "Well?" he said calmly, wondering why he wasn't getting an answer.

Taking one more look at each other, the white haired girl shot her hand in the air. Aizen looked at her oddly before he nodded his head towards her. She stood and brushed off her clothes. She quickly walked up to his side and bent down to whisper in his ear. "You told us not to talk," she said before stepping back and nodding at him. She then turned and hurried back to her seat by her opposite.

He watched her go with an ironic look on his face. 'These girls…are idiots.' He folded his legs and his hands. Resting his elbows on his knee, he lowered his chin onto his fist. His eyes fell slightly and he was oozing the _look_. That bedroom eyes, come hither look.

The white haired girl squealed, jumping over latching onto the other. "He did it," she whispered and the black haired girl nodded. "_Do it again_," they said together, as they both crawled closer.

Aizen frowned again, the reaction was _not _what he had expected or wanted. Sighing in defeat, he slouched back in his chair. "You are speaking now. So who are you? And who do you work under?"

The girls pouted but sat back. The white haired girl leaned back with her arms behind her holding her up. Her head fell to the side to look at the other girl. The black haired girl had her knees pulled to her chest and her head laying on them looking back at her.

"You wanna go first?" the dark one asked. The other rolled her head on her shoulders before shaking her head no. Nodding, the dark one raised her hand as she stood. "I am Kyoki…"

"But you can call her Kyo," the white haired girl piped in happily.

Kyo glared back at her. "You said I could go first," the other whispered a sorry and she continued. "Stark is my Espada."

"I'm Keiyo! But you can call me Kei!" The white haired girl decided it was time to stand to and she laid her head on Kyo's shoulder. "He used to be mine too. But he said we were too much to handle together, so Grimmjow said he'd take me off his hands," she proclaimed loudly, seemingly very proud of being a _handful._

Kyo nodded and looked at the girl on her shoulder. "Grimmy just thinks you're cute that's why he said he'd take you."

Kei pouted and took a step back. "Nuh uh. It's cause I'm a great Arrancar!"

"LIES!" Kyo pointed accusingly at the other girl.

Kei gasp and held her hand to her chest. "NEVA!"

Kyo quickly fell to her knees in front of the other girl and bowed. "Forgive me."

Kei crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at her. "Forgiven!" she suddenly said cheerfully, and Kyo stood back up. The two locked arms and turned back to Aizen who was just staring at them. Kei smiled up at the man and continued their conversation as if the two girls didn't just have their little _argument_. "Grimmy is really simple to handle. It was rather easy to leash him…"

Kyo nodded and continued the statement like she'd been the one talking all along. "…He does bitch a lot, but we have the bouncy toys and the yarn balls."

Kei nodded in agreement before the conversation bounced back to her. "Oh and the catnip, can't forget that. He loves that."

The two girls smiled and tilted their heads so they were leaning against each other. "_We so got him caught,_" they both said in a sigh.

Looking over the girls again, Aizen studied them. Yet he found his eyes lingering on the one called Keiyo. As he looked her over again, the two girls seemed to be having a conversation with each other.

"I can't believe you got to sit in the chair," Kyo whispered with a pout.

Kei nodded and looked back at her. "I know I should have found you first."

Nodding, Kyo sniffled a bit and looked at the ground. "I would have taken pictures." Agreeing with her, Kei finally looked up at Aizen. Freezing, she gently nudged her friend who looked up as well.

"Oo Kyo, it's the evil eye." Kei gulped and the two took a step backwards together. "We must have done something to piss him off."

Kyo made an _eek_ sound, neither girl daring to break eye contact with the male. "What did we do Kei?"

"I don't remember!" Kei protested, cursing herself for having the worst memory ever.

"Why don't you have a sword?" Both girls froze as his smooth voice filtered into their ears.

Kyo looked down to her side and clearly saw her sword hilt sticking from her jacket. Her eyes traveled to Kei who was staring wide-eyed at Aizen. Kyo eyes lingered to where Kei sword normally was, only to found it missing. Finally letting go of the other girl she gasped and stepped back. Pointing at the area the missing sword was supposed to be, she shrieked. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Kei pouted and shifted from one foot to the other. "I didn't do 'nuffin," she mumbled, not looking at either of the people in the room with her. She felt Aizen staring at her and mumbled something else that no one could hear.

"Speak louder, Keiyo." Hearing her name said in his deep _'you must obey'_ voice brought a blush to her cheeks. Thankfully Kyo didn't pick that moment to comment on it.

"Grimmy took it away," Kei mumbled and Kyo suddenly engulfed her in a bear hug. Kei snuggled into her friends shoulder sniffling. "He said I was gonna hurt myself!" She pulled back slightly from Kyo and looked up at Aizen. "You'll help me get it back right, Aizen-sama?"

"Yeah, you will right, Aizen-sama." Kyo and Kei looked at the face that was now between them. For a second they only stared in shock at the grinning fox. Then they both screamed, probably leaving poor Gin deaf, and dashed away. When he looked up Gin's grin only grew.

Kyo was kneeling behind the throne with her hands over her head like a bomb had just been dropped. Kei on the other hand was actually _in_ Aizen's lap. Her head buried in his open coat and her hands clutching the front of it. Her feet were on one armrest, while her back rested against the other. Aizen looked down at the pretty little thing in his lap and was almost inclined to thank Gin for putting her there. Yet, he didn't like public displays of affection, who knew.

"Keiyo, what are you doing?" he asked in his normal spine shivering voice.

Without coming out from her hiding space she shook her head. "Is he gone?" she whispered.

Kyo looked from behind the throne and whispered back. "Negative on that one." She continued to peek out and glanced down at the two in the chair before her. "Bet the throne comfy now," she said with a smirk. Kei just nodded deciding to keep her face hidden.

"Awe, I ain't that scary, now," Gin protested, leaning up against one of the many pillars in the hall.

"When you pop up out of no where, that's pretty scary." Kyo corrected from her hiding place behind the throne. Aizen decided to allow the girl to stay in his lap for now, simply watching the interaction between the other girl and Gin.

"Now, now Kitten, you should pay more attention ta y'er surroundings," he teased back, eyeing the girl bantering with him.

"Yeah, well, normally people don't just invade others personal bubbles like that," Kyo countered with a grumble, this man freaked her out and made her giddy at the same time.

"C'mon kitten, t'ere ain't nothin' ta be sore about," he said, his grin growing as he eyed the dark woman.

"Yeah, well, there isn't anything to be smiling about either, but that isn't stopping you. Now is it?" Gin was about to rebut when Aizen's voice broke the silence.

"_.._" Kyo turned and held back her laughter. Gin tried to force his grin down.

Kei was finally out of her hiding spot and she had her eyes locked on Aizen's hair. Her hand was up and her finger gently twirled the piece that fell in front of his face. Her eyes seemed to be memorized as she curled the lock around and around. She didn't seem to notice the three set of eyes on her. Two amused another one not so much.

After a few moments of silence she noticed being the center of attention and jumped out of the man's lap. Her cheeks were bright red as she looked from Aizen, to Gin and finally to Kyo. Kyo was just staring at her with her mouth hanging open.

Suddenly, Kyo threw her hands in the air and squealed. "SCORE!"

Kei seemed to be knocked out of her moment of shyness and lifted her arms too, grabbing hold of Kyo's hands. "STRIKE!" The two suddenly stopped and both thought for a minute. "Shit," Kei muttered.

"We're so late," Kyo continued. The two jumped down the few steps and started running towards the door. "Oh wait." Kyo grabbed Kei's arm pulling her to a stop. She turned them both around and ran back towards the throne and the two men.

"Oh right," Kei said as the two quickly bowed. She looked back up smiling at Aizen. "Thank you so much for helping me find Kyo, Aizen-sama!"

Kyo nodded and turned to run off again. Kei glanced at her friend running off before turning back to their leader. "Oh, and thank you for not killing me for sitting in your chair!" she said happily, rending him a heart thumping dazzling smile.

"COME ON KEI!! Grimmy is gonna KILL YOU!" Kei jumped at the sound of Kyo's voice and she grimaced at the thought of a pissed off _Grimmy_. Bowing once more, she dashed off towards the door. She was happy that she managed to make it out of sight before tripping over her own pants.

Gin watched the two run out of sight, then turned back to an amused looking Aizen. "Well, you sure keep good company, Aizen." The foxy male smirked running a few playful plans through his mind for his new dark haired toy.

Aizen nodded as he thought about the white wonder that just dashed through his life. The devilishly handsome man just smirked as he thought about having Keiyo brought under him instead Grimmjow.

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_**I know I should be shot...  
OOCness all over but it was fun to write...  
If anyone was wondering how this all started...  
It's because I asked SweetYuya a few things...One being...**__  
"Do you think he'd lemme sit on the big white throne thingy!!"  
_**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	2. My Insanity

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

Kei & Kyo never learn!  
But that's what I loooove about them! hehe!!  
I know my chapters are kinda pointless haha  
& I assure you this has really _no _plot...  
Just taking some of mine & SweetYuya conversations...  
Throwing them into a story...  
& finding it all **hil-ari-ous**!!

* * *

_**My Insanity**_  
Gin walked into the throne room with a slight hop in his step. His grin grew when he saw the rather interesting display before him.

Kei was sitting upside-down on the throne, her legs leaning up against the back of the chair and her head dangling from the seat. Kyo sat not far from her Indian style on the floor. Both had a handful of cards before them and they seemed to be concentrating on their own cards. As he got closer and closer his eyes fell on Kyo. The girl had her tongue sticking out between her lips and her fingers tapping on the back of her cards.

"Whatchu two playin'?" Both girls jumped slightly as they turned to the voice. He noticed the guarded look Kyo gave him and his grin fell slightly. "I ain't gonna hurt ya's."

Kei glanced from one to the other her head rolling on the edge of the seat. "Texas Hold 'em!" the white haired girl proclaimed happily. Gin nodded and took a few steps forward. "It's your turn Kyo."

Nodding, the black haired girl turned back to her friend. "Oh, umm…" She bit her lip and tilted her head side to side. "Got any threes?" Gin raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Kei's smile grew as she shook her head. "NOPE! Go fish!" Kyo grumbled but reached and plucked a card from the pile.

"Are ya sure you two ain't playin' _Go Fish_?" both girls froze and looked over at him in mild confusion.

Kyo looked from Gin back to Kei and finally her eyes landed on Gin again. "Stark-sama said it was Texas Hold 'em."

Kei nodded in agreement and bit her lip. "Grimmy said so too. He told us it was an adult game that is played with money."

Gin crossed his arms over his chest and let out a low chuckle. "Seems you've already got people preyin' on ya."

The girls eyebrows frowned in unison as they pouted. "_Preying on us_?" they said at the same time.

Nodding, Gin took a seat beside the two girls. "Yep, messing with ya, playin' tricks on ya. That ain't Texas Hold 'em." Kyo and Kei locked eyes and frowned.

"I told you Grimmy was being too nice," Kyo mumbled.

Kei sulked, still hanging upside-down in the chair. "It's because we tried to play pool with them."

"Why couldn't you play with them?" Aizen must have come in at some point, neither girls knew when.

Kei gently kicked her legs, completely forgetting that she was in _his_ seat. "We aren't very good at pool. I always end up ruining the table," she said innocently.

Kyo nodded with a serious face. "Oh! Stark was probably mad cause I knocked the cue ball off the table and into his _manhood._" She blushed and looked back at her cards.

Both Aizen and Gin seemed to groan and feel poor Starks pain. Kei reached out and patted her friends head. "He needs to suck it up." She puffed up. "All guys have to deal with at least three nut shots every two years." Kyo seemed to look at her friend to see if she was lying. She saw that Kei was completely serious and smiled back at her.

Kei giggled and Kyo followed, not really sure why she was giggling. "You called it a _manhood…" _

Kyo pushed out her bottom lip and huffed. "Yeah, I hate manhood but sometimes it's all you got!"

Kei tilted her head to the side as her mind went into over load. "Ooo groin…Or…or … his pleasurable parts!"

Kyo looked at her like she was crazy, which was rather ironic since Kyo wasn't quite sane either. "Why…can't I get the word schlong out of my head?" Suddenly both girls burst into laughter.

"Ooo such a mood killer." Kei giggled behind her fist.

Kyo gave a breathless sigh, "ya, think?"

"You two are insane," Aizen said as he and Gin watched at the two girls talk. Both girls looked at them and Kyo suddenly smiled brightly.

"They didn't tune us out, Kei!"

"I was worried…" Kei let out a dramatic sigh, then smiled just as brightly at the two men. "There MIGHT have been a possibility we weren't as funny as we thought...now that is crazy talk."

Kyo tapped her chin and looked back at her friend. "Could be we're just crazy period, which would mean Aizen-sama is right."

Kei looked towards Aizen like he had just decapitated a baby hippo. "That is silly, we are totally the right ones!"

Kyo thought for a minute and ignored the look of annoyance growing on both males faces. "Good point."

Finally putting her cards down, Kei threw her arms to the floor and cheered. "Our side of the line just has more colors and he's sad, he wants colorfulness too."

Kyo giggled and nodded in agreement. She caught sight of Gin's sword and her eyes widened. "Oh, shiny!"

Kei turned on the throne, her body twisting in odd ways for her to look where Kyo was looking. "Oh, where? I like shiny!"

Kyo turned back towards her friend and held her hand to her mouth and, "snickers."

Gin looked at her oddly. 'Did she just voice her action instead of doing it?"

Kyo glanced at Kei and grabbed the other girls shoulder. "Ooh, Snickers!"

Kei reached out and grabbed the other girls elbows. "Ooh, candy bar!"

Kyo nodded and rubbed her own tummy. "Now, I'm hungry."

Suddenly, Aizen walked over to his throne and looked down at the girl who was so freely sitting upon it. "Keiyo…" He waited for the girl to look up at him, which she did almost as soon as her name left his lips. "Where are you?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow. He had sworn he told the girl only the other day that this was _his _room, _his _chair and _his _realm. (Geez, possessive much?)

Kei twisted in the chair, throwing her legs over one armrest and her setting back to rest against the one Aizen stood behind. She tilted her head back and looked up at him. "I am here. Isn't that where you are too?"

Leaning down till his nose almost touched her forehead, he stared in her eyes. "You are in _my_ seat, again."

Kei was silent for a minute before she gulped and kept staring. "Kyo…" The other girl peeked over to her from her spot on the floor. "The _look_ is so much more intense up close." Kyo squealed and clapped her hands in excitement.

Gin watched as Aizen seemed to have a staring contest with the witless wonder. The grinning fox soon turned his attention to the mindless marvel on the floor. In a flash he grabbed the girl and threw her over his shoulder. Kyo's hands clutched the back of his coat. "Squish!"

Kei didn't turn away from Aizen. "Zoinks!"

Kyo took one more look at Kei. "Jeepers!"

Kei waved her hand to the girl being lead away. "Jebus!"

Realizing her friend wasn't saving her, nor did her friend need saving, she wrapped her arms around Gins waist. "Bloody hell!"

Kei smirked as she heard her friend getting further and further away. "Holy hell!"

The last sound Kei heard was Kyo making a loud, "EEEEEEEEK!"

Suddenly Aizen reached out, wrapping his large hand around her neck. Kei's eyes widened, still locking his, "EEEEEP!"

"You, Pet, have caught my interest," he purred down at her, holding her life within his hand on her throat.

Kei still kept the staring contest going, even when she felt his hand loosen around her neck. His fingers gently brushed down her neck and lingered above her breast. She tried to keep her voice as playful as it always was but she was sure this man could sense the difference in her tone. "Is that a bad thing?"

Aizen smirked down at her, leaning over further and whispered into her ear. "Depends on if you can keep me interested…"

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Kyo was getting bored as Gin carried her around the endless hallways. "You better not drop me," she mumbled and Gin smirked back at her, he pretended to drop her only to have her screech in his ear. "Seriously!!! Kei will eat you!!"

"Oh?" Gin said as he finally opened a room and dropped the girl onto a couch. "I think I can stand against your bodyguard."

"Obviously you've never seen Kei when she's hungry…" Kyo huffed and blew the hair out of her face. "Fingers and toes aren't even safe!"

Gin plopped down next to her and reached over twirling a piece of her shiny black hair. "Maybe, ya should be worrying about other things, Kitten." He gently tugged the lock of hair he held.

"AH!" She glared over at him. "Oh!" Suddenly she jumped over, pinning him to the couch. Gin allowed her to hold him there as she straddled over him. She stuck her tongue out and bit it in concentration. Her black nails traced his face, when she quickly tried to pry his eyes open. Gin grabbed her hands, shifted their bodies and pinned her arms above her head.

"Now what could ya hav' been doin' Kitten?" Kyo tried to whistle but soon realized that she was not born with that particular music talent. She also tried to avoid eye contact with the cunning man above her. "Well?"

"Erm, well you see there is a perfectly reasonable explanation to all that," she said with a nod, looking as if she was trying to buy time to make up the very reasoning. "Kei said they were red, but I swore they were blue." She seemed to have forgotten who she was talking to as she continued. "You see, Kei thinks they are red because red is like _OH HOLY HELL EVIL_…But I think they are blue, cause blue is more like a _I am one twisted fuck_…"

Kyo finally looked back at Gin who was smirking down at her. She kind of reminded him of a deer in headlights at that moment. Though he didn't blame her, she needed to learn when to _stop _talking. He opened his mouth but the sound that came out was not his own.

"Wow…so this is what people do in '_adult time_'." Gin and Kyo looked up, coming face to face with Kei herself. Kei nodded to Gin from her crouched position next to the couch. "It will take a minute to register…"

Kyo blinked at her a few times. "EEEEEEEEE!" She smiled completely not surprised at her friends arrival. "Oh, sorry, practice squeal…"

Kei stood up and nodded with her thumbs up. "Good squeal!"

Kyo threw her arms up into the air. "Woot, I didn't even need to warm up!"

"Nope, you're like a pro." Kei took a seat on the couches armrest. "Are you guys playing pile up? Cause if you are, why wasn't I invited?"

Kyo tilted her head to the side her hands falling onto Kei's leg. "I'onno! I was trying to see his eyes."

"O! Red right?" Kei jumped from her spot and pointed at them. "Hmm, I was here to do something but I forgot…" She sat back onto the floor and pulled her hand to her chin.

Kyo cupped her mouth and whispered to Gin. "She's thinking. She has a bad memory. She has the mind of a crackhead."

Kei looked over with a shocked look on her face. "Is it in a jar."

"Ohh, good one." Kyo nodded her approval. "You forever amaze me Master."

"Sometimes I amaze myself little minion." Kei nodded before going back to her thinking pose.

"Squee!" Kyo said after a few minutes of silence.

"Meep!" Kei jumped to her feet and grabbed Kyo, trying in vain to pull her from under Gin. She had suddenly remember why she came here, and seemed in a haste to get out of there as fast as possible.

"You ran." Kei froze at the voice, quickly glancing over her shoulder. She smiled sheepishly, giving Kyo one last tug. Unfortunately for the two, Gin had gotten up when Aizen walked in and the girls went flying backwards.

Kyo looked over from her spot on top of Kei. She returned her attention back to Kei and gulped. "We'll be good now. We promise," she said in a serious tone.

Kei held up her hands in defeat. "Brownies honor!" Kyo shot her a look that could be classified as a glare.

"Yeah, well we don't know what they will put in the brownies!"

Kei looked nervous. "Oh, okay how bout fruit cake?"

Kyo's face scrunched up in disgust. "How about Crème brûlée?"

Kei face twisted in confusion, she didn't know what that was, and she doubt Kyo did either. "How about……umm….chips and dip?"

"Meh, I've had that all week." Shaking her head, Kyo got comfortable on the ground half laying across Kei.

"Okay, okay true." Kei gently tapped the floor with her finger. "OH! Cake! Cake is ALWAYS good!"

Kyo nodded in agreement and sat up on her knees in front of Kei. "Cake is a good idea."

Kei looked down and tilted her head. "Wait.." Her eyes snapping back up at Kyo. "What are we picking food out for again?"

Kyo's eyes widened and she raised her hand lightly chewing on the end of her finger. "Ummm…" They both looked at each other.

"…"

"…snap." Kyo sat back defeated.

Kei looked around, leaning in to whispering to Kyo. "Okay, we so don't tell Grimmy or Stark about this one." Kyo brought her fingers to her lips and pretended to zip them closed. Kei locked them then grabbed the _keys_ tossing them away.

"Oh but I'll need to open those again," Kyo protested beginning to search for the _keys._

Kei patted her shoulder and smiled down at her. "Oh, it's okay its not a real zipper. Look..." She pointed to her mouth showing no signed of the zip.

Kyo sighed in relief and sat back on her butt. "That would hurt too."

Kei nodded, warily picking at the ends of Kyo's pant leg. "We need to eat and stuff."

Kyo nodded and placed her elbow on her leg, cupping her chin in her hand. "Yeah, poor Ulquiorra, he can't eat!" She looked over at Kei with wide innocent eyes. "He's got a hole in his throat."

Kei nodded and jumped to her knees. "Ooo yes! Bad luck indeed. But it'd be funny to watch!" Kei and Kyo began laughing and rolling on the floor. "_It'd fall right out,_" they declared at the same time.

"Ahh, crapticle…" Kyo stopped rolling and looked over at the other end of the room. "Just realized something…"

Kei stopped and looked over at her friend. "The cat ate the mouse?" Kyo shook her head and gulped. Kei followed her line of sight and met eyes with Gin and Aizen.

Kyo whispered over to Kei as if the two men couldn't hear. "I realized _why_ we were talking about food." Kei nodded, also remember they were suppose to be '_good'._

"_Uh oh…,_" the two said together as they jumped to their feet. The mimicking continued. "_We're going to be late!_" They attempted to get out of the room through the door, which proved stupid. Seeing as not only was Aizen standing _in _the door way but they were both shinigami, either man could just flash step to stop them.

"Not so fast Kitten," Gin chuckled out, grabbing hold of Kyo from behind.

"Now, what's the hurry pet?" Aizen whispered, slowly wrapping his arm around Kei's waist.

The two girls looked at each other in comical horror. "Ex-shinigami - one…" Kei gulped as Kyo nodded and finished the sentence. "Friendly Arrancar - zero."

* * *

**_The brownies part is SOOOO because angils-Ella laces her brownies with drugs.  
Mwhahahah! If you want to read something totally funny her story is GREAT!  
_****Bride of Alucard  
_-skips off in happiness-  
SweetYuya stories are also my addiction!  
_****Check them both out or I'll eat your toes!**

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	3. My Abnormality

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine to bend and mold!

Hmm, I (heart) Kei & Kyo!!  
I just can't get enough!!  
I blame SweetYuya for having such interesting conversations with me!!  
MWHAHHAHAHA  
As I've said before ... No plot or point really...  
90 percent of this is formed from chats with SweetYuya  
So, she's like half author/funniness of the story!!

_**

* * *

My Abnormality**_  
The two girls stared at the object before them. Kyo looked like she was contemplating a life or death situation. Kei, on the other hand, looked like someone had just told her they were giving her a baby Giraffe. (Which by the way would be an AWESOME event for Kei so you get it she's excited/happy) They had been sitting in the same spot for about an hour.

Kyo finally broke the silence. "But he looks so innocent, which is odd but sexy at the same time." Kei nodded in agreement but neither looked away from the object before them. "I'm all for taking his innocence!" Kei giggled at her friend's admission, while Kyo just jumped up laughing like a mad scientist. "MWHAHAHAHA."

Kei soon followed and pointed to the male laying on the huge bed of pillows. "We must breed him!!"

Stark opened a lazy eye and sighed. "Go. Away," he stated calmly, rolling onto his stomach trying to block out the deranged duo. The girls rolled their eyes, like that was going to make them leave.

Kyo sat on his one side while Kei climbed onto the other. "Stark-sama…" Kyo mumbled with a pout. Kei ran her fingers through the male's hair, plucking up a few pieces and beginning to braid them. The man seemed to have fallen back to sleep and the two girls could not have that. Kyo poked Kei's arm and the girls locked eyes. Twin smirks grew on their faces and they both took a deep inhale.

"_WAKE UP!!!!!_" they screamed so loudly that tiny pieces of the wall cracked and fell to the ground. Stark shot up in his bed in shock, accidentally knocking Kei onto the floor. He turned his glare to the fallen girl and huffed, Kyo continued giggling madly on the other side.

"What are you two doing here?" he questioned through clenched teeth, finally giving up on going back to sleep while the two were about.

Kei sat up and leaned on the pile of pillows. "We're bored," she stated simply. She gave him an annoyed look, as if he had asked the most idiotic question ever. His hands clenched at his sides, slowly he climbed to his feet. The two girls watched him with interest. Was he going to help them become un-bored?

Suddenly, the two girls yelped as they were tossed out of the room. "Sta…" The door was slammed on the backs. Kyo looked over at Kei who only sighed. "I guess we can see if Grimmy is in a good mood." The two locked arms and made their way down the hallway, humming a tune that neither really could make sense of.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Grimmjow stuffed his hands in his pockets and paced the length of his room. He wanted to go cause trouble, wanted to fight and kill something. He'd been 'asked' to stay put in his room and do none of the above. He was so lost in his inner ramblings he never heard the door to his room open and shut. And surprisingly, he never saw the two girls that snuck into the room.

Kyo and Kei crouched behind the bed in his room. The two peeked over it at him. "I think we need to plan a sneak attack on our caped friend." Kei nodded at her friend's idea.

"Ooo!" Kei was about to jump up and ruin everything when Kyo grabbed her arm and held her down. "I could use my ninja skills."

Kyo's eyes widened. "Oh, I can see it already." The two sat down completely facing each other.

"As can I! It's an amazing attack! He will never see it coming!" Kei whispered excitedly.

Kyo quickly reached up and snatched a pillow from the bed. "Pillow handy, one behind him on the ground….the other the _flying leap _tackle and BAM! He goes down." Kei nodded and bit her lip, looking down. "Didn't they match up?"

"Almost." A grin broke out on Kei's face. "I had him landing in pudding."

"Oh, pudding is soft AND tasty!" Kyo froze for a minute thinking it over. "If it's chocolate."

Nodding, Kei smirked. "See."

"But that would be messy." Kyo seemed to be in a conflict with her own mind. "Pudding fighting sounds fun though."

"I already got that planned." Kei got to her knees, getting more and more excited by the minute. "We will do it in someone else's room. Then run." Kyo nodded for her to continued, getting just as excited. "So we don't have to clean it up."

Kyo took the other girls hand and shook it. "Good plan."

Kei felt a bubble of excitement she couldn't keep down. "YESH!" She jumped to her feet with her arms in the arm. "TEAMWORK!"

"What are you two doing over there?" Grimmjow growled in annoyance. Kyo face palmed and shook her head at her friend. Neither girl spoke up, so the hotheaded male growled again. "Are you planning something against me?"

Kei tilted her head. "Depends, would you wear a cape?" she questioned without missing a beat. Grimmjow just stared at her and Kyo propped her elbow on his bed.

"Ohh, crickets." the still sitting Kyo said with a smirk.

Kei spun around looking all over the floor. She jumped onto the bed and held onto one of the post. "EW! Where!"

Both pair of eyes followed her, Kyo shook her head. "I heard 'em, right after you asked Grimmy to wear a cape."

Kei sighed in relief and sat down on his bed. "Oh, are they in the cape?" She nodded to herself as if that explained everything. "We should clean it first."

"I concur!" Kyo declared standing and pointing towards the sky.

Kei looked at her oddly, not really sure what concur meant. "I burp?"

Kyo's face scrunched up. "Eww, you been eatin' garlic?"

Kei's eyes widened and she hid behind Grimmjow in fright. "How did you know?" she asked completely stunned by Kyo's observation.

Kyo clicked her tongue and pretended to clean under her finger nails. "Mind dive, you weren't looking."

Gasping, Kei stepped out from behind a confused and annoyed Grimmy. "Oo, evil," she said with a smirk, Kyo just nodded. "Don't go getting lost in there. I ain't coming to find you." Kei said crossing her arms and stubbornly turning her face away from Kyo.

"Shit…" the black haired girl mumbled.

Kei quickly turned back to her. "Don't do that either!!!"

Grimmy smirked as Kyo began to laugh uncontrollably. She fell to the bed gasping for air. "Guess that would literally be a _brain dump_ huh?"

Kei didn't seem to get it and she just Ewww'd before plopping down on the bed with her friend. "There is no flush feature in there, it'd just slush around."

Kyo giggled behind her hand and glanced up at Kei. "So, if two people were to have sex in there would it be a _mind fuck_?" She snorted and roared with laughter.

Kei seemed to actually _think_ on the answer. "Ooo, as long as they take their _stuff _with them after they are done." Kei face wrinkled in disgust. "I don't need someone's _little men _swimming in there, that's just…, EW."

Kyo seemed to have calmed down and laid her head in Kei's lap. "Disturbing is the word you were searching for, I believe."

"Yes, perfect word!" Looking down Kei smiled, nodding and patting her friends head. "So smart, so smart." Grimmjow just stared in disbelief at the two girls so comfortably situated on his bed. He felt his annoyance rise as he was so blatantly ignored. Grimmy scratched his head and Kyo looked at him oddly.

"Should I get you a flea collar?" He visibly stiffened when Kei looked between them both.

"I don't want fleas!" Kei jumped up from the bed.

Kyo pointed at Grimmjow, "Then give him a flea bath!" There was a strange twinkle in Kei's eye as she turned towards the male. Now he wasn't being ignored, but targeted. Suddenly a plan popped into his head and a smirk grew on his face. Neither girl even saw it coming.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

"Grimmy this _really _isn't necessary," Kei protested, glancing from the male to her friend.

Kyo nodded and gulped. "Yeah, neither of us are really into…" She looked down at the rope around her midsection. "Bondage."

Kei agreed with a nod. "I mean if that's what gets your _member _up and at attention, to each their own."

"_Length_, Kei. Member is just so…mood killer-ish," Kyo suddenly piped in.

"_Ooh! Skin flute!" _they said in unison. Grimmy just pulled a piece of duct tape and placed it over the girls' mouths, their mumbling was heard from behind the makeshift gags.

Grimmjow stepped back and took a look at his handy work. Both girls were tied to separate chairs and their mouths taped shut in the corner of an empty room. Smirking, he turned on heel to leave.

"Mhmahahmhm…" Was all he heard before closing the door and going along his merry way.

Huffing in annoyance, Kei looked over at Kyo who had the same look of frustration on her face. Rolling her eyes, Kei kicked her legs in boredom. Oddly her chair seemed to move. She managed to twist and look down. A broad smile would have been seen on her face if the tape didn't cover it.

Kyo had her head tilted backwards with her eyes closed. She was trying to think of ways out of their current situation. She was jarred from her thoughts when her chair was bumped into and she went flying into the wall. Her eyes shot to the perpetrator and they landed on the gleeful eyes of Kei. Kyo watched as Kei spun around in the chair as it rolled around on the hard floor.

'Stupid, stupid Grimmy,' Kyo thought as she turned her chair and kicked off the wall, wheeling herself into Kei. 'He put us in chairs with wheels!' Behind the closed door any passing person could hear the muffled sounds of giggling, or at least that's what it sounded like. The _giggling_ was accompanied with the occasional thumping sound and a dull yell.

It took an hour before the two girls were bored. They were taking deep breaths through their noses and glanced at each other. Kyo looked towards the closed door then back at Kei who understood right away. No words needed to be spoken and the two rolled themselves over to the exit. It took a few tries but Kyo seemed to be quite capable at opening the door with her feet alone.

Once it was open Kei wheeled out backwards, peeking out into the hallway. She looked back at Kyo and nodded that the coast was clear. Kei rolled out, giggling madly behind the gag when Kyo did the same bouncing into her. The two fixed themselves so they were side by side. Looking behind them, then towards each other. After a muffled countdown the two took off down the empty hallway.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Aizen was walking back from his weekly _tea session _with the Espada's. He went to walk passed a hallway, only to stop dead in his tracks. He heard an odd sound coming from one of the hallways that branched off of it. It sounded as if someone was dragging something along the floor. It was a lot of _something's_ and they were making their way down the hallway. Fast, he might add, very fast. Curiosity got the better of him causing man to detour and turn down the hallway, changing his direction towards the sound.

Just as he was about to pass the hallway that the sounds seemed to originate from, he stopped again. Popping his head over, his eyes widened as he was suddenly collided with. Along with the sound of the _thing _that hit him squealing there was a loud bang, crash and a groaning sound. He was squished against the wall with something pressing him to it. He looked down and saw wide eyes staring up at him.

"Keiyo?" There was a loud groan from beside them and Kei quickly glanced over.

Kyo was lying in a heap on the floor, still tied to the chair. It would seem that the walls weren't as flexible as the two girls thought. Kei chose to ignore Aizen in favor of rolling over to her friend.

"Mmhmmmmffmmfffm?" Came the confided voice of the still mobile girl. Kyo glanced up at her and shook her head. Kei's widened and she let out a sigh of relief. She glanced back at Aizen smiling, not that he could see her lips. "Mmoffmfpfmfmf." She nodded, thinking she had explained the situation.

Aizen walked over to her with a shake of his head. "You two…" he started, trying to hold back a smirk at the sight of the two. "What is going on here?" Kyo gave him a blank look from her spot on the floor. (Hey, it's hard to get up when you've fallen…and you're tied to a chair…) Aizen waited for an answer for a minute before seeing the look on Kyo's face. As if just realizing the girls were unable to answer him, he reached out and let his fingers caress Kei's cheek. The girl froze and gulped as he slowly leaned in. "This is going to hurt," he whispered right before harshly tearing the duct tap from her mouth.

Kei only grimaced slightly as it was ripped from her face. "BUMPER CHAIRS!!!" she squealed, seemingly unfazed by the harsh treatment. Kyo grumbled from her spot on the floor.

"And who had the pleasure of tying ya two up?" Gin chuckled as he proceeded to pick Kyo up and set her chair right, Kei let out a _meep_ at his sudden appearance. The fox ripped the tape off of Kyo much in the same fashion Aizen did for Kei.

Kyo took a gasping breath as if she had been holding it the whole time. "Grimmy thought it would be good punishment for trying to bathe him." She spun in her chair and rolled in circles letting out a childish _weeeeeeeeee_.

"Yup, but he didn't notice the chairs were on wheels." Kei copied her twin, watching the world spin around her. "Bad move on his part." Kyo nodded in agreement as the two spun till they were dizzy.

"Okay, I'm done," Kyo mumbled, causing Kei to stop and turn towards her.

"Need a barf bag?" Kei asked seriously, Kyo shook her head and the two sighed.

It only took a few pouts and whines before the two men untied the girls and Kyo rubbed her sore belly. Kei stood and stretched. "_I'm hungry,_" they grumbled at the same time and started to walk down the hallway.

Aizen and Gin just glanced at each other and silently decided to leave the girls to their own devices. They had plans to take over the world. (Mwhahaha)

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Kyo and Kei took a seat at the counter in the kitchens. They both have a hefty tray of food before them. Grinning at each other, they began to stuff their faces. Only moments into their feast Kyo shrieked. "Ew!!" Kei looked up at Kyo, her cheeks puffed, filled with food.

Kyo shielded her eyes, but peeked out of her finger tips at her plates. "It's…" She pointed to her plate in sheer terror. "It's a fish stick!"

Kei swallowed the food in her mouth and leaned up over the table. "Le-gasp!" she gasped, pulling her hands to her cheeks. She looked up at the fearful Kyo and patted her friends head. "No, it's okay." She smiled reassuringly. "I eats it!" Kyo watched with wide eyes as Kei bravely reached down and plucked up the offending stick. Kei gulped before opening her mouth and eating it whole.

Kyo looked at her friend with gratitude, placing her hands over her heart and smiling. "You are a good friend, Kei," she announced with the onset of tears in her eyes.

Kei put her hand up to stop Kyo from getting too emotional. "Sometimes you gotta take one for the team."

Stark lazily walked into the kitchen and smirked. 'Finally, found them.' He took a seat next to Kyo and waited for the girls to notice his entrance. He knew them long enough to know that sometimes it took the girls' time to catch up to their surroundings. Even more so when they had food in front of them.

"Stark-sama?" Kyo said bewildered, Kei glanced up at him with the same look of confusion on her face.

"How long you been there?" Kei asked in disbelief. The lazy Espada never left his bed unless ordered to by Aizen. The handsome male smiled at them, causing both of them to become uneasy.

"I was just looking for you two," he answered with a lazy, yet suave smirk. Both girls looked at each other then Kyo looked back at him.

With an accusing stare she poked his hand. "Why?" She knew he was up to something, Stark never went looking for the two girls. And he, almost always, was seen throwing them out of his room.

He looked at her with mock hurt. "Can't I hang out with my two most beautiful girls?" he said in mock hurt, gently twirling Kyo's hair on his finger. The compliment and the thought of having someone to hang out with threw all suspicions out the window for both girls.

Kei jumped to her feet smiling happily. "We can hang out in your room?" He nodded and Kei looked expectantly at Kyo. Sighing, Kyo stood as well and Kei jumped around in joy. Stark escorted the two from the kitchens and lead the way to his room.

* * *

**-GASP!-  
What is Stark going to do with our thickheaded twosome!  
-MWHAHAHAHAHAHA-  
Read ****_angil & SweetYuya  
_**THEY ROCK - HARD!!  
**  
Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	4. My Normality

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

BWMAHAHAHAHAHH!  
**Angil ROCKS!  
SweetYuya is wicked awesome!!**  
& I remind anyone that reads this...  
90 percent of Kei/Kyo's conversations are made from chats between Sweet & I.  
**They are some random, crazy and rather eventful IM boxes!  
MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA**

_**

* * *

My Normality**_  
The three got to his room and the girls took a comfortable seat on his soft pillow bed. "_You aren't going to do anything…" _Kei and Kyo looked around making sure no one was listening in, then the two leaned in and whisperer. "_Naughty_. _Are you?_"

Stark shook his head, smirking as he walked over to one of the cabinets in the room. "Of course not, Sugars." The girls looked at him rather skeptical, as he walked back towards them with a very large jug in his hands.

"Is he going to put our organs in that?" Kei asked, scared of losing her valued body parts. Kyo grab hold of Kei's hand as the two gulped. They both let out a sigh as Stark took a seat in front of them. He didn't have any knives on hand, which probably meant their body parts were safe. He set the jug down and handed the two girl two tiny cups. The girls took them and Kei began inspecting it for flaws.

"Now, Sugars, we are going to see who can last the longest." He smirked as he seemed to have gotten their attention.

"Like a competition?" Kyo said with a tilt of her head. Stark nodded and the girls smiled.

"_Us against you!!_" they proclaimed together, both pointing at the man before them. He again nodded, effortlessly lifted the jug and poured the clear liquid into each cup.

"Bottoms up," he muttered, as the three of them quickly downed their drinks.

Kyo and Kei had twin looks of confusion on their faces, deciding on the outcome of the drink. Kyo licked her lips and nodded. "I likes."

Kei clicked her tongue and shrugged her shoulders. "Is okay." They both held out their cups to Stark. "_Next._" Stark smiled and poured three more cups, this was easier than he thought.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

'That was almost too easy,' he thought with a raised brow an hour and half and an empty jug later. Yet, he was confused. He tipped the large jug and a few drops fell into his empty cup. He looked up at the giggling girls across from him. "There isn't much of a change."

"We'd be a kick ass addition to the vampire world," Kei proclaimed, lying back on Stark's pillow pile.

"YESH! Oh my god! We totally would!" Kyo nodded to her friend, her friend nodded back. Sure their speech was a little slurred and they had a slight glazed look in their eyes, but not much else changed. The conversation was off the wall, but that was nothing out of the norm for the two. Stark sighed at his poor loss of alcohol.

"We could we wear cool jackets!!" Kyo said happily.

Kyo nodded. "I wanna cool jacket!" She thought for a minute. "A black leather duster!"

"I know so do I!" Kei squealed in excitement. "AND a cool hat maybe!!"

Kyo took a deep breath as her eyes widened. She had just thought of the greatest thing. "Oh better yet a big cloak with a hood!"

Kei's eyes matched hers as she nodded. "I don't want red eyes though." Kyo tapped her chin.

"I'd like bright blue eyes. Like all pretty." Nodding, the two girls sighed.

"_Lucky buggers." _Their voices, again, seemed to meld together into one.

"I know, oh to be a vamp," Kyo said before suddenly giggling madly. She rolled to her stomach and peered down at Kei. "That would bring a whole _new_ meaning to calling you _master_."

"True, true!" Kei giggled back and grinned. "I'd give you a wicked ass sword!"

Kyo _eek_'ed in happiness! "Sah-weet!" she yelled out in excitement.

Suddenly, Stark climbed onto his pillows with them. 'I wonder if their stupidity is an act.' He crawled between them and sighed. "I was wondering…" They both looked at him, and he realized he was in bed with two beautiful, possibly drunk, woman. "Why do you call her Master?" He sighed at the blank look on the girls faces. He rolled his eyes in his mind. 'No one can _act_ this shit.'

The girls looked up from him to each other. "Well…," Kei mumbled. "It all started…" She stopped and Kyo scratched her own head picking up where she left off.

"It was when…" Both girls huffed in aggravation. "Hmmm…," Kei said, followed by Kyo's, "ummm…"

They looked back down at him glaring. "_IT'S A SECRET!_"

A little startled from the outburst, the lazy male only sighed. He was stupid to ask such a hard question to the two in the first place. He lifted his hands and placed them behind his head. Stark was weighing his opinions. 'They are drunk, right?' He wouldn't mind some companionship from one, the other, or both.

"_Nothing naughty!_" they chastised him, both glaring down at him.

Stark looked from one to the other in slight confusion. 'Maybe next time,' he thought with a shrug, and with a sigh he closed his eyes. He felt himself falling into a light sleep. Kyo reached out and gently ran her fingers through his hair. Kei rolled onto her stomach and used her crossed arms as a pillow. Soon they realized Stark had fallen asleep completely.

"It was a nice try, huh?" Kei asked, Kyo smirked and continued to gently pet his head. "Stupid, but nice try nonetheless."

"Yeah, not the smartest male but he's nice to look at, right?" Kyo said which cause Kei to nod her head franticly. A grin grew on Kyo's face as she looked over at Kei. "Grimmy will come looking for you soon." Kei's grin grew too. It was true. It was about that time Grimmjow came to check to make sure she didn't get into too much trouble. Because in the end she was his responsibility.

Stark was ripped from his peaceful sleep between the beautiful, yet preposterous polar pair when his door slammed open.

"_GRIMMY!!_" the girls sang out together. The hot headed male glared at Stark, who just sighed at the others horrible timing.

"What did you do to them?" he asked with a growl. Grimmjow could clearly see the glazed look in the girl's eyes and the light flush on their cheeks. Stark only shrugged and turned cuddling into Kyo's side.

Not seeming to mind, Kyo leaned over the male and whispered something into Kei's ear. The other girl smiled as she nodded. "Perfect idea."

Kyo shrugged. "I have 'em now and then." Kei nodded and sighed happily.

"You is like the paperclip to my tack," Kei announced dramatically.

"I hold things together?" Kyo asked with a tilted of her head. Kei nodded, her white hair flying around in the air. "So I hold several things together and you hold them all up." Kyo nodded as if it all made sense to her now. Stark and Grimmjow just watched the two girls, which is what most people did when they came in contact with them. (Hey, I'd be entertained for hours watching these two.) "I can also pick locks."

Kei literally climbed over Stark and sat on his side. "If you bend yourself you can poke people really badly."

Kyo sat up and used Stark's head to support herself. "And form pretty necklaces!"

Kei clapped in delight. "It all works!"

Kyo nodded happily. "We are _both_ good for poking!" She corrected, causing Kei to squeal at her new permit of poking.

"_YESH!_"

"Could… you get off?" Stark grumbled from below the two girls. This really wasn't how he planned on being under either of them. Grimmjow let out a booming laugh, bending and holding his stomach. The girls glanced over at him and both their eyes twinkled in excitement. Stark huffed as the two crawled off of him. "I only gave them a bit of Sake, though they didn't change much."

Kei held her hand to her mouth and make a _'crshh'_ sound. "Target in sight. Have you gotten its location, over - Tack."

Kyo copied the sound and held her hand up. "Yes, Tack. Target is in view. Commence operation _Cat-Got-Your-Tongue_! Over and Out - Paperclip." Grimmjow warily watched the two girls crawl towards him.

Kei giggled, still holding her hand back to her mouth. "Paperclip, attack bad kitty!" Kyo jumped into the air and tackled Grimmjow to his back. Kei soon followed suit and jumped on the two. Stark watched as Grimmjow lay gasping, the two girls giggled on top of him.

"Take cover!" Kyo yelled, squeezing her body out from between the two.

Kei winked at the male beneath her before quickly yelling back to Kyo. "NINJA!"

Kyo stopped and crouched down. "Oh!" She began to sneak away.

"Ninja skills," Kei whispered, crawling on the ground in the same direction as her friend. "Oo wait! Come back!"

Grimmjow muttered how he was going to murder the two girls, tiredly rubbing his forehead.

Kyo peeked out from the corner. She quickly ducked and rolled behind the couch. Kei, Grimmjow and Stark could she the tip of her head over the top and her feet stuck out the side. "I can't see you…you can't see me…" Kei giggled as she listened to her friend and watched Kyo's feet wiggle. "That's the ticket." Kyo's head bobbed, causing Kei to giggle more.

Kei pointed to the hidden Kyo and snickered. "PEE ON HER DOGGY NINJA!!!" Kei laugh maniacally.

"NOOO!!! Oh my God!" Kyo jumped up and looked around. "Don't piss on me!"

Kei jumped up and down clapping happily. "Found you!" She took off, running onto the couch and jumped over it efficiently tackling Kyo to the ground.

All Kyo managed to get out was a mumbled. "Oh shit…" before her body collided with the floor.

"I win!" Kei shouted as she hugged her friend.

"Wahhhhhhh!" Kyo began to sniffle below her. "I always lose!" she whined.

Kei sat over her and patted her head. "Next time, next time!" She looked back at Stark and Grimmjow. "Ooo tissues!! TISSUSES!!" When one of the two (does it matter which?) handed her one she dabbed Kyo's eyes.

"I am no match for your ninja skills," Kyo said with a pout.

"Practice grasshopper!" Kei said with determination. "Practice!"

"I'm trying!!" Kyo cried. Kei sighed and continued to pat her friend on the head.

"In the Master handbook it says all you have to do is try."

Kyo stuck out her bottom lip and looked up at Kei. "Really?" Kei nodded and smiled happily. Kyo copied the smile and threw her arms up. "SCORE!"

Kei threw her arms up after Kyo. "STRIKE!!"

"Umm, Uno?" Kyo said with a tilt of her head.

"Errmmm," Kei tapped her chin, "Gin!"

"Ummm," Kyo huffed up. "Shit…SKIP BO!"

'Skip Bo?' Kei thought with a confused look. "POKER!"

"GO FISH!!!"

"Black JACK!"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"

Kei looked over at Kyo and saw the panicked, yet blank look on her friends face. The white haired girl leaned over and cupped her mouth to whisper to the black haired one. "Crazy 8's."

Kyo's face lit up and she jumped to her feet, knocking Kei off of her. "CRAZY EIGHTS!"

Kei laid on the ground with her hands over her head. "Ahhh, you won!!!" She giggled.

"Thank you, Master," Kyo whispered, and then she proceeded to dance around the room. Kei nodded vigorously from her spot on the floor. Suddenly, Kyo stopped and stomped her foot. "Hearts!! That's what I was trying to think of!"

"Oo, I don't know how to play that game." Kei jumped to her own feet and tapped her foot on the ground. "Well, I do…I think….sorta," she said with a shrug.

Kyo was happily twirling around when her feet decided to play an evil trick on her. They caught on one another and sent her plummeting to the ground. With an _'oooft'_ she hit the floor. "Hmm, the ground is very soft over here." Kei gulped and shook her head at her friend. Kyo looked down and saw her elbow in the throat of a very pissed off Grimmjow. She jumped to her feet and stared wide eyed as he stood as well. Anger leaked off of him in waves.

"Hurry walk away slowly, backwards, and try not to walk into anything." Kei had the same wide eyed look as she gave instructions to Kyo. "Then RUN!"

"Shit…," Kyo whined in the back of her throat and shook her head. "Who can walk backwards without hitting something!"

"He might not of seen you attack." Kei realized that _that_ was true. The two were lucky to walk forwards without knocking things over. "Okay…so just RUN!"

Kyo nodded. "Good point Master." Turning, she suddenly took off.

"Of course." Kei nodded back proudly. "I is tack!"

Kyo popped her head back into the room and smiled. "Yesh, you remembered!" Kei nodded and her smile grew. "Sharp, has a point, and the ability to hold things up!" Kyo reminded the other and Kei clapped, jumping around in giddiness.

"I am going to…" Both girls turned to the extremely angry voice that hissed at them. "KILL YOU BOTH!!!" Grimmjow went to attack, causing the two girls to squeal simultaneously and ran from the room. Stark watched the three go with a sigh.

* * *

Is funny cause I is tack...  
(Because apparently I always make good points)  
Weird part is some of these conversations are at the same time...  
SweetYuya and I are amazing multitaskers.  
-nodnod-  
Is a skill that we have mastered!!  
Youtube linkage, Bya/Kenny-picture surfing, Chatting, & writing chapters!  
Is very good at it!!

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	5. My Rationality

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

Just a fair warning...  
I am sleepy...  
I wrote half this chapter while being sleepy...  
Typos / pointlessness is probably overloaded!  
Is okay...  
SweetYuya is my co-funny!

_**

* * *

My Rationality**_  
"MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kei yelled as the two ran down the hallway. They had lost Grimmjow a few turns ago but they still kept running.

"Oh my, that is an evil laugh," Kyo said with a slight pant, they had been running for quite some time.

"It is…it is…" Kei agreed as the two came to a dead end. They looked back and forth, eyes landing on a door. Kyo nearly ripped it off the hinges as she flung it open.

"We must hide!" she said, pushing Kei into the dark room. She closed the door behind the two, cutting off all sources of light. Suddenly, the two girls heard a _click_ and they both turn to each other in darkness.

"Kyo…," Kei whimpered, Kyo gulped and tried to turn the handle of the door.

"Kei," she whined back. "It's locked," Kyo said trying to jiggle the handle again.

"It's dark Kyo!" Kei reached out and grabbed Kyo's hand. Kyo gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"We can just break it down," the dark head reasoned with a nod, readying her body to bust through the door.

Kei quickly stopped her. "Stark and Grimmy said if we break anything else they are gonna rip our masks off!" Kyo shuttered at the thought. "Stark said if they do that we will disappear! I don't want to disappear, Kyo!" Kyo sighed and slipped down the door. Kei soon followed and the two girls sat there in the dark.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

_**Thirty minutes locked in…**_

"What kinda sound does a Hippo make?" Kei asked, rolling her head on the door behind them.

"Ummm…" Kei could picture Kyo tapping her chin even if she couldn't see her in the darkness. "I'onno?"

Sighing, Kei frowned. "Me either."

"We should ask Aizen-sama, he is smart!"

"Why don't they teach it in school?" Kei asked seriously.

"Evil fuckers," Kyo mumbled. "Ostracizing the hippo." Kei nodded in agreement, while Kyo continued her rant. "We got 'the cows go moo', why not the hippo!"

"I mean c'mon I'll see a dog or cat at least once in my life, I'll hear what sounds it makes." Kei's argued back, her head nodding feverishly. "Why not the hippo!" Both girls huffed in annoyance.

_**An hour locked in…**_

Kei groaned in boredom. "I think my mind has fallen asleep on me," she complained to the darkness.

"My ass fell asleep, I think," Kyo countered, shifting her sitting position.

"Ooo, yours is worse!" Kei said giving Kyo a pat on the arm.

Kyo giggled and nodded. "I know, right?"

Kei shook her head with a chuckle. "No one needs a tingle in their bum." Both girls cracked up laughing.

"I want an apple," Kei mumbled, her stomach giving a growled in agreement. "I don't like apples though."

"I like 'em with peanut butter," Kyo said absentmindedly. "Peanut butter makes everything better, dontcha know?"

Kei hmm'ed at the new information. "Didn't know that." Kyo gasped and Kei smiled. "I learnt today!" The two girls giggled.

_**Two hours locked in…**_

"Oh, oh!" Kei shook her head and raised her hands to her nose. "I have to sneeze!"

Kyo quickly raised her hands in the air. "BLESS YOU!"

"Oh," Kei sighed. "I lied, never mind."

"LIAR!" Kyo proclaimed pointing in the direction she knew Kei to be in.

"I didn't mean too!" Kei felt her lip tremble, and a sniffle escape her. "I thought I did but it disappeared."

Kyo let out a low 'oh' and looked away. "O! Look at the light that's what I do…."

Kei glared at the darkness where she knew Kyo was sitting. "Kyo…" The girl tilted her head in confusion. "THERE IS NO LIGHT!" The dark one let out another low 'oh' before Kei sighed. "Plus I already thought of that but before I realized there was no light, it was already gone."

"Damn…m" Kyo muttered in anger.

"I know it tricked me." Kei pouted, and Kyo raised her fist into the air shaking it violently. "EVIL SNEEZE!"

_**Four hours locked in…**_

Kyo took a sharp inhale and let out the breath. "De de de…"

Kei rocked her head back and forth. "Do do do…"

"La la la…," Kyo sang out.

"Le le le…," Kei mumbled back to her.

"Ho ho ho…" Kyo giggled.

"We is making song!" Kei squealed out. "He he he…"

"Ha ha ha…," Kyo hummed out. "Mi mi mi…"

Kei let out a loud laugh as she ended the lovely song they sang. "Mo mo mo…"

Kyo opened her mouth to give more input when the door they both leaned against suddenly opened.

The two girls fell backwards and Kei shrieked. "The…THE SUN!!" She held up her arms to block the evil light from her face.

"IT BURNS US!!!" Kyo continued, doing almost the same gesture as Kei.

"What are you two doing in my lab?" Both girls stiffened, peeking up at the man who spoke down to them.

"S….Szayel-sama?" Kyo stuttered, while Kei just laid there in shock. "We…well…ummm…'

Kei gulped. "It was dark," she mumbled and the pink haired male turned his attention to her.

"Did you try turning on the lights?" He reached over the fallen girls and flicked the switch right beside the doorway. Kyo groaned and Kei let out a sheepish laugh. "That doesn't explain why you were in there?"

Kyo bit her lip and refused to look at the man in the eyes. "We got locked in," she muttered and the man simply rubbed his forehead. He stepped over the girls and entered his room.

"You two must be the girls the others were warned about." Kyo and Kei shared a confused look and Szayel just sighed. "Fools, the door locks from the _inside_."

Kyo rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment and Kei just ignored the fact. Kei's eyes caught something moving in the room and she let out a scream trying to crawl backwards out the door. She tried to voice her fears but all she managed was, "Sp…..d…..r"

Kyo quickly looked around the room. "SPIDER! WHERE?!" Szayel watched, briefly wondering how Kyo knew what Kei had said.

"SMUSH IT!" Kei yelled, taking off her shoe and raising it in her hand. "SHOE OF DOOM!!!" Kyo reached to stop her but didn't make it in time. The shoe flew out of her hand and not only slammed into Szayel's forehead, but it bounced off of him and headed straight for his shelf unit.

There was a loud crash as a few of his _experiment _filled jars smashed to the ground. Kei sighed in relief as the spider disappeared under a low book case. Kyo was frozen in fear and Szayel…well Szayel was seething.

"YOU TWIT!" he yelled in fury. Kyo scrambled to her feet, quickly trying to pull Kei to hers. Kyo began dragging the white haired girl away, but Kei seemed to protest.

"But…my shoe…"

Kyo hissed back at her in response and continued to pull. "You won't have a fucking foot to wear the shoe if you don't run, now." They both gulped as Szayel glared and chased after them.

The two stopped when they came to a dead end, Szayel licked his lips and sneered. Kyo took a deep breath and then ran and jumped at him. The male ducked and Kyo went flying over him.

"He bent down when you did your _flying leap_ tackled." Kei giggled, somehow finding hilarity in their possible death situation. "Wooooosh, right over him." She made a hand signal of flying over him. Kyo started chuckling from the floor behind him. "You were just trying to fly right? RIGHT!" Kei demanded, refusing to let her friend look foolish. (A little late Keiyo dear)

"Right!" Kyo proclaimed, attempting to stand again only to double over laughing. "Right? Yeah, right!"

"Right~," Kei said in a sing song voice.

"Left!" Kyo piped happily.

Kei stopped and gasped. "Middle!"

"TOP!" Kyo yelled, followed by Kei's giggling, "Bottom!"

"Up," Kyo challenged.

"Down," Kei rebutted.

"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, SELECT!" Kyo said with a smug look on her face.

Kei's eyes widened as she pointed at the girl behind Szayel. "Oh, secret code! So cheating!"

Kyo threw her hands in the air and spun around in joy. "I won! I won!"

"I wanted to win." Kei sighed in defeat. "Maybe next time." She peeked over at Kyo, who was squealing and chanting _I won's_.

"I can't even decide if you are worth experimenting on," Szayel mumbled, realizing his anger had subsided greatly. Kyo and Kei just glanced at him with an odd smirk on their faces. 'Did they do that on purpose?' Their faces went blank and he shook his head. 'No way.' He nearly snorted when he felt someone round the corner.

"Hn, taking on two bitches, are ya Szayel," Nnoitra taunted, the pink haired man only rolled his eyes. Nnoitra let his eyes linger on the two females as a lecherous smirk took over his face. Kei rushed passed Szayel and appeared at Kyo's side. Neither girl particularly liked Nnoitra; he was mean and was a known for _picking on_ the female Arrancar. Of course they meant the _picking on them_ that meant nearly killing them if they disobeyed him. Gulping, Kyo gripped Kei's hand as the lewd man took a step towards them.

"You know how to pick 'em dontcha?" The two girls took a step back, both knowing that only a dead end waited behind them. "Can I have 'em?" He licked his lips and Szayel only sighed.

"Do whatever you want with them." The girls shot wide eyes too the pink haired bastard. Oh, how they wished Grimmjow was still pissed off and chasing them. The lanky males grin only widened as Szayel left him with the lovely prey. The girls back up till their backs touched the wall. And he continued to push forward until he had them trapped.

"Now, now…" His sick grin widened further, if possible. "Who's first?"

"Neither…" Both girls visibly relaxed at the lazy voice that caused Nnoitra to stop in his pursuit. Stark had a bored, yet angry glare fixed on the other male. "Kyo, Kei, come here," he said simply and the two girls shot out from in front of the scary man. They appeared a moment later hiding behind Stark. A white topped head peeking out from his left side, and a black one from his right. Nnoitra only growled at the higher ranked Espada. "They are mine," the handsome man said idly, turning he put a hand on either of the girls heads. Ignoring the hiss he heard from the other male, he smiled down at the frightened pair. "Lets go, Aizen-sama has called for you two." The girls each grabbed one of his hands and clung onto him. Normally, they'd be nervous being summoned by their leader (cause he can be crazy devilish sometimes) but they were too relieved to be rid of the scary pervert to really care.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Stark and Grimmjow stood behind their respected charges. The lazy male merely looked bored, while Grimmjow tried not to look anxious. Neither of the Espada liked the idea of their featherbrained Fracción being called upon by Aizen.

The girls looked from each other, back to their 'bosses', then up to their leader. Gin stood to his one side, while Tōsen stood on the other. Kei pouted and shuffled closer to Kyo. "I bet he gets a bad back from sitting in that chair," she mumbled, causing Kyo to hold back a giggle. "I wonder if Aizen-sama would lemme help take over the world, it sounds like a good gig." Kyo snorted, as laughter tried to bubble from her mouth. "Hopefully he thinks we're too fun to kill or something."

Kyo's eyes nearly popped from her head. "He better! I'd have to kill him!" she proclaimed loudly.

Kei let out a deep sigh. "God, he's probably going to kill us just cause we never shut up!" Kyo growled ready to proclaim war against the man who threatened to hurt them. Even though Aizen had made no threat to begin with.

Grimmjow just shook his head and smirked behind them. Stark let out a low chuckle. 'These girls don't care who they are in front of, they never change,' the dark haired male thought fondly as he watched the two, only glancing up quickly to make sure Aizen wasn't getting too annoyed with the girls. Neither Grimmjow nor Stark wanted their _comic relief duo_ to be harmed because of their own silliness.

"Now, you two," Aizen stated simply, efficiently silencing the two girls. "I've called you here for more than just mere entertainment."

Kyo tilted her head in confusion. "We are entertaining?" she said as if the thought never crossed her mind. Aizen ignored the question in favor of more important business.

"I have decided to send the two of you on a mission," he said, watching in amusement as both Kyo and Kei's jaws nearly hit the ground. Stark and Grimmjow had much of the same look on their faces.

* * *

Is okay...  
Kyo & Kei will get through this...  
I hope...  
HAHAHAH!  
**Go read & Review -  
_SweetYuya & Angil _**

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	6. My Irrationality

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

**It's pointless. POINTLESS I SAY!!**  
The randomness never stops!  
_Though I must admit we are pretty random...so I suppose it'd be hard to stop._  
As always **SweetYuya **is my _co-person who helps me with the funny._..  
& We must thank** Mr. SuperCopHubby** aka** General Staple**!  
He helped with some of the funny this time around!!  
_((-giggles madly- We have warped him into our insanity, my minion!))_

_**

* * *

My Irrationality**_  
Kei and Kyo looked around in confusion. They held each others hand and gulped. "_We're screwed,_" they mumbled, taking in the town they had been told was called Karakura.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

"I can't believe he just sent them there," Grimmjow said for the hundredth time. Stark only stared at the floor while they walked through the hallways. He was actually quite shocked at the turn of events as well.

_Aizen's smirk grew as he saw the shock on the girls faces. For some reason he found sick satisfaction in being about to surprise the two. He waited for a minute for the news to sink in. Kyo seemed to be the first of the pair to snap out of it._

"_Wh…what do you mean?" she asked, hoping he was sending them for groceries or something equally non-dangerous. But the smirk on his face and the creepy grin on Gin's told her the truth. Her hopes were in vain. _

"_I am sending you to Karakura Town," he said in a flat tone. "You are going to investigate the going on's around one called Kurosaki Ichigo and report it back here. After which further instructions will be given."_

"_Karakura Town?" Kyo mumbled, Kei still staring at Aizen as if he had ten heads._

"_You can't be serious?" Grimmjow growled from behind them. "Have you met these two?" Aizen gave him a glare, but Grimmjow didn't get the hint. "You are going to get them killed!" Suddenly, a huge spike of spiritual energy pushed the male to his knees. Kyo glanced back wide eyed._

_A loud squeal brought all attention to Kei. She turned to Kyo and smiled brightly. "Does this mean we get to pretend to be Ninja's!" she piped happily. _

_Kyo shook her head. "No, Kei, this is real! We could die." She had a serious look on her face as she gripped her friend's shoulders, getting Kei's full attention. "WE ARE GONNA BE REAL NINJA!" she proclaimed excitedly. The two girls locked hands and began jumping around, giggling madly._

Stark sighed with a small smile on his face. "I give them a week before they come rushing back. Bored out of their minds."

Grimmjow shook his head and smirked. "I give it two days, if they don't die first." The last part was said in a mumble, the last thing either wanted was to lose their silly underlings.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

"So what do we do now?" Kei asked with a frown, it had sounded fun when they were told to come here, but this just seemed pointless boredom. Kyo watched as a leaf blew by and Kei plucked blades of grass from the ground.

"Look for this Ichigo person?" Kyo suggested with a shrug.

"That's boring!" Kei flew back, lying in the grass. "He's some substitute Shinigami. Wonder why Aizen-sama wants to know about him." Kyo shrugged again, plopping down next to her friend.

"Grimmy was telling me about before he became an Arrancar," Kei said off handedly, peeking over at Kyo. "He was all evil-ish and like alone-ish. I'm glad you found me."

"Me too!" Kyo nodded vigorously. "We's two peas in a pod now!" she proclaimed happily. "With a nutty flavor!"

Kei sat up suddenly hyper. "SWEET! Can we be in, like, a blue pod or something?" Her face scrunched up. "I don't like green much."

Kyo sat up. "I likes blue!"

"Me too!" Kei squealed and nodded in approval. "Blue is it!" Kyo clapped in delight and yelled out a loud, "yesh!" Kei just wiggled around on the ground like a happy worm, Kyo soon followed after.

"Eee! Blue peas!" Was heard as Kyo rolled in the grass. Followed by a mumbled. "Ooo, we rockin'." From a giggling Kei.

Suddenly, Kyo stopped and sat up. "Although, I never liked peas, but if we are the peas, then I guess I'm cool with it." She looked over at Kei with a grin on her face. "I'm not gonna eat myself."

Kei nodded with her tongue out. "I don't like peas either, so it's okay!" Kyo bobbed her head, happy they had come to an agreement. "PLUS we are BLUE peas! They gots to be better than the normal ones."

Kyo jumped to her feet. "And if someone bites into us, well they is gonna find out that inside this little peapod is a tack and the other one has a paperclip in it!"

"Ohhh!" Kei jumped up with her, throwing her hands in the air. "We is gonna poke their gums then." Kyo let out a low, "yesh" as Kei continued. "That's what they get for trying to take a bite out of the Tack & the Paperclip!" The two girls spun in the open field, giggling like two drugged up hippies.

"_We're so lucky!_"

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

"Do you feel that?" An orange haired boy turned to the black haired girl who stood beside him. He didn't wait for an answer before he grabbed his soul popping badge and hit it against his chest. Without another word he leapt from the window.

"Wait, Ichigo!" the black haired girl grumbled before doing the same with her body and taking off after him.

Ichigo glanced back at the girl and rolled his eyes. "Don't you feel it Rukia? That's a weird energy." Rukia nodded, but had a frown upon her face. "It doesn't feel like a hollow or a Shinigami…," he muttered, flying through the streets towards the source.

"You felt it too?" A redhead popped up beside them, running just as fast. The two nodded to him, all deciding to try to keep quiet as they approached the open park the aura was coming from.

"Renji, did Urahara send you?" The redhead nodded as the three snuck into the trees.

Their eyes landed on two girls sitting Indian style facing each other. "What are they?" Ichigo asked in hushed shock, both Rukia and Renji shrugged. The three slowly closed in, hoping to get an idea of what the girls were planning.

"GATORS!!!!!!" the white haired girl said in a frightened voice.

The black hair girl nodded with a grave look on her face. "Yessssssh! The gators got to EAT the bodies"

Ichigo looked at his two friends and they both shrugged again. 'What the hell is going on?'

"Ewwwwww!" The white one grimaced as she closed her eyes. "I wouldn't want to be fed to gators!"

The dark one nodded in agreement. "I wouldn't either."

Suddenly, both the girls turned to where the three Shinigami hid in the tree tops. "_It's rude to peep._" Again their voices seemed to meld into one, but they playfully glared at the three. "_You can come out…_"

The white one smiled and took over the sentence. "We are telling scary stories!" she proclaimed with childlike amusement, the dark one smiled as well. Both waiting for the others to step out into the clearing.

When they did Kyo pointed at Rukia and Kei gasped. "_I didn't know girls could be Peeping Toms!_" Renji snorted, and Ichigo turned away to hide his laughter.

Huffing in annoyance, Rukia stepped forward, her hand on the hilt of her sword. "Who are you? And what are you doing here?" The white and black twins stood and linked arms.

"She's Keiyo." The black one pointed to the white, flipping her black hair over her shoulder. "You can call her Kei, though."

The white one nodded, sending her white hair flying through the air. "She's Kyoki!" Kei pointed to Kyo. "But we just call her Kyo!"

"_We are Kei and Kyo!_" they said with a twirl.

Kyo leaned over and whispered into Kei's ear. "We didn't get to do the twirl before did we?" Kei shook her head with a goofy grin on her face. "Nope!"

Slowly starting to remove her sword, Rukia glared. "I asked what you were doing here." Renji and Ichigo stepped forward effacingly stopped Rukia's glaring.

"Ya don't gotta be so harsh, Rukia," Renji mumbled, sending a smirk at the two girls. "So, whatcha got planned?"

Kyo tapped her chin. Kei bit the inside of her lip. "Hold on, I have a note somewhere." Kei reached into her friends coat pocket and began digging around. Smiling in triumph, she pulled something out. "Here it is…" She shook her head and threw the unused barf baggie to the ground. "No wait…," she mumbled as she dug deeper.

Kyo sighed and pulled her friends hand out of her pocket. She then began to dig in Kei's packet. "Ummm, this it?" She held up the object and both girls frowned.

"No, that's my vampire teeth," Kei mumbled.

"I told you not to bring those!" Kyo rolled her eyes. "I didn't bring mine," she mumbled and Kei followed with a low "sorry." Kyo went back to searching the pocket. "Is this one of the magical pockets? Cause if so, I'll never find it!" She huffed and threw Pirate plushy on the ground. "I get lost in those things!" Kei giggled and Kyo stood up and looked at her. "What's so funny? You lost it!"

Kei pouted and Kyo felt bad. She mumbled a sorry and bent down to look in the pocket again. Giggling again, Kei reached over and plucked something off Kyo's shoulder. "Found it!!!"

"That's where I put it!" Kyo grabbed it from Kei and opened the note. Clicking her tongue, she read over the instructions. Kei leaned over her shoulder to read it as well.

'What are they…?' Renji thought, glancing over at his two companions.

"_We are bad at 'membering stuff,_" they both mumbled to the unasked question. Suddenly both girls faces lit up, Kyo folded the paper up and put it in her pocket.

"We are here to investigate!" Kyo said with a finger in the air, seemingly very proud to have 'remembered' their task.

Kei nodded and jumped around Kei excitedly. "We have to find the Ichigo and see how fun he is to play with!"

Kyo stopped Kei and tilted her head at their three guests. "You wouldn't know where to find him would you?"

"Who exactly are you looking for?" Ichigo asked with a scowl.

"_Kurosaki Ichigo,_" they said with twin smiles.

All three shinigami stiffened, quickly put on their defensive. "Who sent you?" Rukia growled, already holding her sword out at the girls.

"Well, it's rude to ask a question with a sword pointing at the person," Kyo huffed with a frown.

Kei nodded and leaned over to whisper to Kyo, though her voice was loud enough for all to hear. "She's pissier than Grimmy, dontchu think?" Kyo nodded and Kei got a dreamy look on her face. "At least Grimmy is pretty."

"That redhead is kinda pretty too," Kyo said, both girls giving him a playful smile. Kei nodded in agreement. Renji's face turned red at the girls' slightly evil look. "Wahhh! So cute!" Kyo squealed.

Kei took a step toward them, biting her bottom lip. "He looks nervous," she said with a giggle.

Kyo soon came up next to her and nodded. "He is!" She mimicked the giggled.

Kei jumped from one foot to the other. "He needs a hug!" she said with an extremely happy look on her face. Kyo laughed and the two girls were about to run in and do just that. Yet, they were stopped when a pointy object was placed in front of Kyo's face. The girls' _eep_'ed, halting just inches from the sharp sword Rukia held up at them.

Kyo pouted and Renji was torn with what to do. He kind of wanted the hug from the two. Soon he realized the Kei girl wasn't there anymore.

"Stab, stab!" Kei yelled from behind Rukia and in-between Renji and Ichigo. None of the Shinigami knew how or when she got there, but there she was. Ichigo and Renji were about to _save_ Rukia when Kei yelled out another phrase. "With the FORK OF JUSTICE!!!!" And sure enough Kei poked Rukia in the back of the head with a fork.

Kyo threw her fist in the air and let out a loud laugh. "YESH!!!"

Kei looked at Renji then over to Ichigo, not being able to see the dumbfound look on Rukia's face. But she figured it was the same, or similar enough to the two males. "It comes in handy when people start fightin'," she said, twirling the fork in her fingers. Kyo nodded and let out a loud, "verah" as Kei gave the boys a cocky smirk. "I mean who can continue a fight when some random girl just stabs you with a plastic fork."

"Boo!" Kyo giggled from the other side of Rukia, drawing the attention of all of them back to her. "You usually have a metal one!" she said with an identical smirk on her lips.

"True, true," Kei said with a slight frown. "But the plastic causes less damage." She held up the fork, showing everyone the truth in her words. "I don't wanna get sued."

Kyo made a 'pfft' sound, as if it was completely absurd that Kei would get sued for such a thing.

Kei stomped her foot and pouted at Kyo. "I told you I wouldn't last in jail! I don't wanna be someone's bitch!!" Kei sniffled and in a blink of an eye Kyo was gone from before them.

"Awe, is okay Kei!" Kyo patted her shoulders in comfort. "Grimmy and Stark wouldn't let us go to jail. Worst, Aizen-sama would let Szayel use us as test subjects. But we'd sick the kitty on him!"

"Did….did you say Aizen?" Ichigo muttered in shock.

Both girls looked back at him and nodded their heads. Before anything else was said both girls felt something hit the back of the heads, they both slowly turned blurry eyes to an apologetic looking redhead. "_Tha…t wasn't very nice._" Renji caught Kyo and Ichigo caught Kei before the two hit the floor.

* * *

WHOA!! Renji keep your hands to yourself...  
_If the girl is unconscious that does **NOT **mean you can touch her just cause she can't remember._  
Geez, pervert!!  
OoO did I mention that _**SweetYuya **_& _**angil **_ROCK!  
Vampires, crazy girls and bleach lovelies...  
How can it get any better?  
**_GO NOW - READ AND REVIEW OR ..._**  
Did you know every time you don't listen to me...  
A baby hippo gets eaten by a Gator :(  
_GO NOW!_

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	7. My Unconventionality

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

_-giggles and skips around-_  
**I seriously think I have issues...**  
Again, this is a meaningless (mostly) story!  
Once again I thank **_SweetYuya _**for being my Funny Minion of Greatness!  
I can't remember if any of the funny came from **Mr. SuperCopHubby** aka** General Staple**!  
So, I will thank him anyways!

_**

* * *

My Unconventionality**_  
Three hours after their 'capture' Kei and Kyo sighed in annoyance. "Maybe they went away and forgot we were here?" Kei asked from her 'tied up' spot on the floor.

Scoffing at the thought, Kyo threw her black hair over her shoulder. "How could anyone forget us?" Kei nodded in agreement, throwing a low "true" to her statement.

A few moments of silence passed before, "I'm hungry, Kyo!" Kei whined, wiggling around on the hard cold floor.

"You're always hungry, Kei," the other reasoned, drumming her fingers on the hardwood. "Why are you still acting tied up?" She raised a black eyebrow in confusion.

"Practice!" Kei giggled and threw her hands in the air. "FREEDOM!!!!" Kyo only shrugged and toyed with the rope on the floor that once served as their bonds. "You think they are gonna try to kill us?" the white head asked, tilting her head to the side in thought.

Shrugging again, Kyo smirked. "We should punish them." Kei mirrored the smirk and nodded feverishly.

The two snuck from the room and slowly made their way down the hallway. Biting her lip, Kyo gently eased a door open. She smirked at her findings. There sitting at a table was the redhead, the orange head, and the black head from earlier. Accompanying them was also a man with a hat, a female in spandex, another girl with huge boobs, a dark skinned boy and a light skinned boy.

Kei sighed as she peeked in with Kyo. "The redhead's so pretty," Kei mumbled, surprisingly no one heard her.

"YESH!" Kyo agreed in a hushed voice. "Preeeeeetty. He has pretty hair."

"No eats right?" Kei looked down at the head below her. "Braid!"

"No eats!" Kyo said with a shake of her head. "We likes." She then nodded. "Pigtails?" The two girls covered their mouths so their giggles wouldn't escape.

"Ooo," Kei said once her giggles subsided. "That would be fun!"

"Yesh!" Kyo said again happily. "Pigtails, like Pippy Long Stocking!"

Kei seemed preoccupied. "They'd be fun to pull." Kyo looked up at her oddly but only shook her head. Kei seemed to come out of her daze. "I'm hungry, Kyo."

Silently nodding and closing the door, Kyo turned and took Kei's hand. "Let's find food then!" Kyo said with a smile as Kei sadly rubbed her empty tummy, it seemed the girls had forgotten about punishing the group. For now at least.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Kei sat Indian style on the countertop. "I tried to name our fishies once but Grimmy said not to cause they always died real fast, then I'd wonder where Mr. Nubbers went." Kyo awww'ed and nodded in understanding. "Poor Mr. Nubbers went down the potty."

"To the big fish bowl in the sky!" Kyo said dramatically with a throw of her hands. "Or the sewer…" She added with a creased brow.

"If it's in the sky why do we flush them _down_ the toilet?" Kei asked in complete seriousness.

"It's magic, Kei."

"Wow." Kei's eyes went wide and starry. "Magic." Kyo nodded and Kei's smile grew ten fold. "I hope it sparkles!"

"It does!" Kyo grabbed the others shoulders in her excitement. "And shimmers too!"

"Lucky little fishies." Kei sucked her teeth and pouted. Kyo pouted along with her. "I know, right?" Bother girls giggled and went back to pillaging the kitchen for food.

"Speaking of magical fishies," Kyo said absentmindedly, bending down after finding some candy in a lower drawer. "The goldfish have a conspiracy." Kei looked down at her with wide eyes. "As in the edible ones, of course."

"REALLY!" Kei yelled in complete disbelief.

Nodding with a serious face, Kyo continued. "I haven't figured out what it is yet, but somehow they turned me into a fish and Stark-sama too!"

Kei's jaw almost hit the ground in shock. "But…they…smile…back!!!" she proclaimed, near tears.

"DON'T FALL FOR IT!" Kyo yelled grabbing Kei's shoulders again, shaking her gently. "That's how they reel you in….literally!"

"WAH!" Kei's hands jumped to her cheeks as she looked on in horror. "What a cruel world, when a smile isn't good anymore!"

Kyo looked at her like she was crazy. "You should know that…" The black head looked around and leaned in to whisper, though it was a known fact that neither Kyo nor Kei could whisper well. "Look at Ichimaru-sama!"

"Oo…" Kei seemed to stiffen at mention of the mans name. "True, true." Then her face fell a bit and her back loosened. "But…but they are FISHIES!!"

"And tasty ones too!" Kyo answered and went back to searching for something to eat in the small area.

"Evil fiend!" Kei muttered into her newly found and opened box of crackers.

"Winner!" Kyo yelled, pulling out a package of Oreos and began munching.

"Toes in the toaster!" Kei yelled back, crumbles gracing the side of her lip.

"Evil fiend winner!" Kyo rebutted but frowned. "Oh you win, not the toes!" Kei mumbled a 'sweet' and Kyo gently tapped her head. "We've had this discussion before!"

"I know, I forgot!" Kei said, bowing her head in shame of her forgetfulness.

"You're only supposed to eat the toes of the people who try to hurt Grimmy and Stark-sama!" Kyo said in a motherly tone. "Member?"

"I 'member, I 'member," Kei said with a quick nod.

Urahara looked from Renji to Ichigo. "Are they always like that?" He then focused back on the girls, which they watched from a slight opening in the door.

Renji and Ichigo just sighed; they were more concerned on how the girls got out. Last they checked the two troublesome twins were tired up in the back room.

"_You sure have peeping problems._" Both girls looked over at the crack in the door. "And what do you mean, 'are they always like that', hmm?" Kyo finished, while Kei jumped off the counter.

"I SMITE THEE!" Kei yelled, throwing a cracker at the doorway, which surprisingly turned and whacked Urahara in the eye. Kyo only shook her head and chuckled lightly. "SACRIFICESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Kei hollered with her hand in the air. Kyo quickly hid behind the kitchen table. Kei looked at her and frowned. "Not you, the toes!"

"Their toes right?" Kyo whispered, pointing to the still slightly hidden males behind the door.

Kei sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Yes, yes, their toes." Kyo ran her hand through her hair with a 'whew'. Kei smiled at her friend, "I will not eat your toes."

"Thank you master!" Kyo jumped out, tackling Kei to the floor.

Ichigo and Renji opened the door and stepped inside. Urahara rubbed his sore eye as he followed after. Suddenly, Kei and Kyo were huddled in the corner. "_Don't eat us._" All that earned them was three odd looks, plus a few more peeking in from the other room.

Renji was the first to compose himself. "Why would…we eat you?" Kyo and Kei looked up at him from behind each others hands. Kei sniffled and looked at Kyo for support.

"Aizen-sama said the Shinigami would eat us if we got caught!" Kei said with teary eyes.

"So you do know Aizen!" Rukia said with a hiss. "Tell us what you know, now!"

"_We don't wanna be eaten!_" Kyo and Kei whaled, loudly sobbing into each others shoulder.

Renji and Ichigo were quickly in front of them, kneeling and patting their heads. "It's okay, don't cry."

Kyo sniffled and Kei buried her head deeper into her friends shoulder. "_You're not going to put us back in that dark room, are you?"_ The two males looked at each other and then back at the group behind them.

Urahara shrugged and fixed the hat on his head. "They…don't really seem like a threat." He turned to Yoruichi, shrugging and whispering. "Might get more information out of them if they are comfortable."

Renji smirked and patted the girls on their heads again. "See, so let's go into the other room."

Ichigo nodded, as he and Renji helped the girls to their feet. "Yeah, we can get ya something to drink for your crackers." He smirked and the four made their way to the other room.

"Now I know…" Kyo turned to Kei and winked. "When threats fail, self pity and pouting will save the day!" Kei giggled and the two boys turned back with questioning glances.

"Kyo made a funny face!" Kei said with a slightly squeaky voice. The two males just shook their heads and walked into the other room.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

The two girls sat at the table beside each other. The group of strangers sat across from them looking at them oddly. "Mou, Kyo," Kei whined with a rub of her tummy. "I'm still hungry."

"I know, but we aren't at home. You have to respect other people's rules." Kyo patted her friends shoulder with a sigh. "Obviously, it's not common for people too feed captives. However it is common that they be thrown into a dark-cold-lonely room, with no real reason to do so." Renji scratched the back of his head, while the rest of the group had a guilty look on their faces.

Kei pouted and looked towards the others. Her eyes landing on an orange haired girl. "WOW! Her boobs are like the size of my head." Kyo shot her eyes to the girl who was now fidgeting and blushing. Reaching over, she clamped a hand over Kei's mouth before she could do any more damage.

"Don't mind her, she…was dropped on her head…last week…by um….Stark-sama!"

Kei shot her a glare and shook her head, pulling the hand from her mouth. "You promised not to tell anybody!" Sniffling, she poked her friends arm. "I wasn't dropped, he threw us out and I hit my head on the floor." Crossing her arms over her chest, Kei preceded to pout. "You're just lucky you landed on your butt!"

"So, I'm told you are Kei and Kyo?" Urahara cut in with his usually unreadable smile. The two girls only nodded with a small tilt of their heads. Kyo was about to complain that none of the strangers had given their names. When the door opened and a tall, big, man walked in. "Ah, thank you Tessai!"

A plate of cookies was set in front of Kei and she immediately picked two up and made a silly face. "Cookie monster! RAWR!" she roared, taking a chomp out of one of the sugary treats.

"EEP!" Kyo squealed as she hid behind her friend. "A MONSTER!" Kei let out a loud, slightly evil laugh. "Laugh all you want," Kyo said with a smirk. "I'm hiding behind you!"

"AHHH!" Kei yelled, dropping the cookies to the table. "No fair!" Kyo giggled out a 'yes-huh', while Kei sniffled. "But I don't taste like cookies, so he won't eat me right?"

The group watched on in amusement as Kyo peeked out from behind Kei and contemplated look on her face. "Me either."

Kei quickly smiled and picked up the cookies to eat again. "So…we're safe!" Kyo nodded and sat back at the table beside the white headed girl. "But we might have to share the cookies with him," Kei said with a concentrating frown. "I'm not good at sharing," she finished and Kyo nodded in her agreement.

The black haired girl leaned over the table and whispered. "You should have seen when Grimmy tried to get another Fracción." Kei made a face from beside her. Clearly she had heard the whisper. The pigment free of the pair opened her mouth to defend herself but she was rudely interrupted.

"WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?" Rukia yelled, getting fed up with the two girls. "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ICHIGO?"

"_Yelling never helped any in our book._" The black and white pair tilted their heads. "_Not gonna tell mean people about our Stark and Grimmy!_" They shook their heads, sending black and white hair flying through the air and slightly intertwining within each other.

Ichigo frowned. "Who are 'Stark and Grimmy' anyway? We were asking about Aizen."

"Aizen-sama is a sly f'er." Kei bit her lip and Kyo slumped toward the ground. With a tone slightly below a whisper, Kei spoke up. "He scares the shit outta me sometimes."

Kyo nodded in her agreement, though she was more terrified of Gin. "Ichimaru-sama scares me more," she said, her hand slowly inching over and locking it with Kei's. They would get in so much trouble if either man found out, which they both knew they probably already did.

Ichigo and Renji glanced at one another, before looking over at Urahara. Sighing, Renji decided for now a change of topic would be nice. "How did ya get outta the rope anyhow?"

Both girls mood suddenly lifted. "_Grimmy ties better knots than you!_"

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Later that night the girls were in another room, entertaining Orihime, Tessai and Ururu. Jinta just sat by and poked fun at the girls any chance he got. Renji, Ichigo, Rukia, Chad, Uryu, Urahara and Yoruichi were grouped together to decided further actions.

"They don't seem like criminal masterminds," Renji said with a huff, for some reason he didn't want to have to hurt the girls.

"True, but it could all be an act," Uryu commented while he fixed his glasses.

"We should have called Soul Society already and have them escorted there for further questioning," Rukia said with a straight face. All others are the table kind of froze at the thought.

"They will more than likely kill them," Chad spoke, his deep voice only saying what everyone was thinking.

"Does it matter? They are the enemy! They are underlings of Aizen!" Rukia said, lightly hitting the table with her fist. "They are a danger to us all!"

"They haven't once done anything do try to harm any of us," Yoruichi reasoned with a confused expression. "Why do you think that is?" The group looked into the other room where the girls were waving their arms around excitedly.

"Humble, humble, humble, BEE!" Kyo said with a laugh, Kei was right beside her on the ground giggling madly. "GAH, A BEE! Kill it! KILL IT!" Kyo began to panic swatting at the bee only Kyo and Kei seemed to be able to see.

"HIDE!" Kei jumped up, grabbed Kyo and hid them both behind Tessai. Kyo looked around and nodded. "This looks like a good spot to me!"

Kei nodded in agreement. Then she sat and clapped her hands together. "One time there was a wasp in my room, and Grimmy was out training or something and so I was alone." She stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. "So we battled the wasp and me!"

"Damn no one to kill it for you!" Kyo muttered as the others in the room looked on and listened.

"It outwitted me twice," Kei mumbled in clear disappointment. "Then it disappeared into thin air!" she said with wide eyes, like it was some sort of magic trick.

"Oh, god!" Kyo said with her hands flying to her face. "I would have been waiting for a sneak attack!"

Kei nodded, her hair flying everywhere. "I was looking over my shoulder for, like, the rest of the day."

"That's so scary!" Orihime said, causing the Arrancar duo to turn their attention to her. Both girls had identical grins as they scooted over towards the orange head.

"_We like you!" _Kei and Kyo chorused, they both reached up and began gently petting their new friend's hair. "She's much nicer than the bitchy one," Kei stated with a nod to Kyo, who agreed wholeheartedly.

Orihime just smiled and blushed at the attention. "_WAH!!_" the twins screamed as they bounced off the floor and tackled the unsuspecting girl to the ground.

Ichigo turned to Rukia with a smirk on his face. "Oh yeah, they look _so _dangerous."

* * *

Special thanks to my first (none minion or minions hubby) review!!  
**malou  
_I'm glad Kei & Kyo's complete randomness has given you an enjoyable laugh!  
_**...Time for the Pimpin' Out...  
**_SweetYuya _**& _**angil  
**_ARE MY ADDICTION!  
_Their stories are amazing amazingness!  
_**You Must Go Read!**  
I DEMAND IT!

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	8. My Conventionality

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

SHAAAAAZAM!  
People...I was NEVER DROPPED ON MY HEAD...  
Nor was SweetYuya (to my knowledge at least)  
& our randomness is WICKED awesome!  
That is all...

_**

* * *

My Conventionality**_  
Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Ikkaku and Yumichika looked down at the two girls smiling happily up at them.

"New friends, Kyo!" Kei piped excitedly as Kyo squealed out.

Kyo tapped her chin and turned to Kei. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Kei bit her lip before smirking and nodded her head quickly._ "HE LOOKS LIKE A PEACOCK!_" they chimed out, pointing to the flamboyant Yumichika.

"Dragon!" Kei yelled, pointing to Hitsugaya, "A baby one." She giggled out in a whisper.

"FAIRY!" Kyo said with big eyes, pointing to the large breasted Matsumoto, "Maybe, mixed with a little giant…to account for the boobage," she whispered to Kei.

"Oh oh!! ELF!!!" Kyo answered, pointing to Ikkaku, though her face scrunched up comically. "With a balding problem."

Kyo nodded and scratched her chin, turning to fully face Kei. "TROLL!"

Kei gasped and face Kyo. "DWARF!"

"WIZARD!" Kyo said, throwing a fist in the air.

"Ummm," Kei looked to be panicking as she chewed on her lip. "Me?"

"WOOT!" Kyo jumped to her feet, her arms waving in the air. "I WON!"

The group of _sane_ people watched as Kei held her face in her hands and sobbed. "Yes, you wins." Kyo stopped her dance upon hearing the sob and fell beside her friend. "Aweeee!' She rubbed her friends back in comfort. "Don't cry."

As if those simple words made everything better, Kei looked up no signs of tears on her face. "Ohhhh!" she said with amazement laced in her tone. "That would be a kick ass birthday gift." Kyo looked at her in confusion. "Hey whatchu get…" Kei said in a deep voice, obviously trying to pretend to be someone else. "A FUCKIN' DRAGON!" Kei continued in her own voice, though it was loud and full of bewilderment.

Kyo just stared at her for a minute before the whole room was filled with her rich laughter. There was chuckling and giggling heard from the group surrounded the fascinating fools. All were in some sort of fit of giggles besides the icy 'Dragon'.

Kyo and Kei crawled up and sat at Hitsugaya's feet, looking up at him. "He's not laughing," Kei said at a loss.

"No, no he isn't," Kyo concluded with a shake of her head. "Maybe, he doesn't want to laugh?" she said with a shrug.

Kei's head whipped to look at Kyo with a look of disbelief on her face. "WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO LAUGH!!!?" Kyo mumbled a low, sad 'true.' Yet, Kei went on a tiny rant anyway. "That's completely unheard of! It's like happiness in a sound!"

Kyo nodded. "I laugh often, its fun."

Kei nodded with her, though her nod was much more heart felt. "I AGREE!" They both looked up at Hitsugaya, who stared at anyone _but_ them. He even seemed to be having a conversation with the Fairy/Giant.

"He might have tuned us out already, Kei," Kyo said with a pout.

Kei mirrored the pout and whined. "Awe, so soon?" Suddenly, she perked up and turned to Kyo. "That might have been a record." Kyo thought on it and agreed, "Could be". Kei clapped her hands in delight. "Ohh! CHECK THE BOOK!!"

_**An hour after Hitsugaya started ignoring their presence…**_  
Kei laid on the ground still staring up at the Ice Dragon Boy. "You think he'd cut my hand off if I poked him in the eye?" she asked Kyo, whose head was lying beside her own.

"Hrm, yeah." She glanced up at him. "I think so."

Kei frowned. "Hmm I see…"

"At least the finger that did the poking," Kyo reasoned, both girls again ignoring the others in the room with them. They surely didn't care who listened to their random babbling. "And you need those."

Kei clicked her tongue as she crossed her legs and wiggled her foot. "Debating if it's worth possibly losing a hand," she mumbled out in complete seriousness.

"Use a foot instead?" Kyo threw out the option before quickly changing her mind. "Oh no! He might really kill you then."

"Though if I'm going to lose a body part, I might as well…like…steal his clothes or something worth it," Kei said again, weighing the possibilities in her mind.

"Exactly!" Kyo turned onto her stomach and looked down at Kei. "We should bust in on them bathing and take their clothes, and hide them!"

Kei smiled up at her friend. "OKAY!"

"That means we'll at least die with a smile on our faces," Kyo explained, it was up for debate if they were still talking about Hitsugaya or if they had set their sights on bigger prey.

"And we'll leave a note telling them where they are hidden, so they can get them after they kill us," Kei said, adding her own two cents of idiocy to the plan.

"That would be the way I'd wanna go." Kyo sighed and a dreamy look appeared on her face. "If I'm gonna die, gimmie a nice view to go out on."

The same dreamy looked appeared on Kei's face. "Good way to die, hmmm." The two giggled before Kyo laid on her back again and the two went back to staring up at Hitsugaya.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Kei was chatting with Urahara. The hatted man slyly asked her questions, though Kei avoided them with seemingly innocent skill. Kyo watched from beside her in boredom, she wasn't used to someone taking so much of Kei's attention. Smirking, the black haired girl lifted her finger.

Renji and Ichigo stopped their banter as they watched the evil smirk on the girls face. They both watched in confusion as Kyo raised her finger and proceeded to poke Kei in the back of the head. "Poke…," Kyo said, holding back the giggles.

Kei turned to her, a look of shock on her face. "Is poked…," she mumbled before her eyes, playfully, rolled into her head. She fell over onto the ground, seemingly dead.

"Eep!" Kyo shrieked as she crawled over to her fallen friend. "Don't worry, Master. I'll save you!" She rubbed her hands together pretending to hold shock paddles in them. She placed her hands on the girl's chest, "CLEAR!"

Kei's body jerked and her eyes flew open. "You…you saved me!"

Kyo sniffled and wiped the fake tears from her eyes. "I was so worried, Master." The two girls grabbed each other into a hug, not bothering to take notice of the confusion that swirled around them. Kei lifted her hand and poked Kyo in the back of the head.

Kyo sat back and gasp, poking Kei in the arm. Kei smirked and double poked her back in the cheek. "POKE FIGHT!" Kyo yelled, tackling Kei and poking her repeatedly.

Kei squealed and used both hands to poke Kyo and shouted in triumph. "GOTCHA!"

Kyo rolled onto the ground in defeat. "Master has skills." She shook her head in shame. "Silly minion, I should have known."

After a shake of his head and sigh, Ichigo stood and was followed by the others. "We better get home. It doesn't seem like we are getting any answers tonight."

Kei and Kyo threw their hands in the air and stood up on either side of the orange headed boy. "_SLEEPOVER!_"

Chuckling Ichigo shook his head, the others already leaving the small shop. "I think it's better if you two stay here. It'd be one hell of an explanation to my dad why you two are staying at my house. He already thinks perverted things about Rukia being there."

Kyo and Kei both pouted and were on the verge of tears. One said, "No scary stories?" The other added, "No movies and popcorn."

"_NO PILLOW FIGHTS!_" they both cried in unison as they pulled on Ichigo's shirt. He was two seconds from just agreeing and allowing the girls to have a sleep over, when Renji stepped in.

"You can do that here," he said with a smirk, causing Ichigo to frown.

Kei and Kyo immediately perked up and glanced over at Renji. They peeked at each other and then around the room. Noticing the kill joy Rukia was no where in sight, the two girls squealed. With a running start, the two leapt into the air, efficiently tackling Renji to the ground. Renji's eyes widened but he made no move to deter the attack. He simply took the weight of the girls and fell back onto the floor. "Told you he wanted it!" Kyo giggled as the two girls snuggled into the sexy redhead's chest.

The orange head was now very envious of the redhead. The girls looked back at Ichigo with a smile on both their faces. "_Kk thanks bye-bye, Ichigo!_" They waved to the departing boy.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Kyo looked to Kei, and then turned her attention back to Renji. "So, Aizen-sama….is bad? And so are we?" Kyo said with a tilt of her head. Renji sighed and his shoulders sagged. This was what he got for trying to explain the situation to the foolish femmes.

"We told you Aizen-sama was scary!" Kei whined and held her head in her hands. "I'm lost."

"Me too," Kyo nodded in agreement and turned to Kei. "Gotta map?" She scratched her head in confusion. "I'm good at navigating!" The two girls seemed to forget the very serious conversation they were having with the fiery redhead.

"Mmmm, no but..." Kei tapped her lip and glanced around the room. Her eyes landed on a rectangular object. "But I have a phone!" She grabbed Renji's phone, which acted as a hollow locater. "We can call for help!"

"Yeah…," Kyo said in a drawn out tone. "There's one major flaw in that plan." Kei frowned, wondering how there could be an error in her wonderful, calculated plan. "How can someone help us, if we don't know where we are?"

Kei hmm'd and thought on it for a minute. "GPS-ness?" she asked.

"Ooooh!" Kyo nodded franticly. "Good point."

"Oh, oh!" Kei said, bouncing in her seat. "Or I think Grimmy and Stark put a tracking device in us somewhere, I think!"

"Mwhahahahahahahah!" Kyo crackled loudly, bouncing around on the floor.

Kei watched her friend with wide eyes. "Who gave you a hyper pill?"

"Ummm," Kyo stopped and looked at her feet, biting her lip in concentration. "You?"

"I did!" Kei said in complete shock. Kyo nodded emphatically. "YESH!"

"I forgot," Kei mumbled looking at the floor with her eyebrows frowned. "My memory must really be shot." Kyo nodded again happily. "Are you sure?" Kei asked, looking at her friend.

"YESH!" Kyo proclaimed loudly again, only to freeze with her hand halfway in the air. Both girls' eyes widened as they looked at each other.

Renji looked from one girl to the other. "What's going on?" Urahara only shrugged, he was just as confused as everyone else.

"_IT'S GRIMMY!!_" the two girls yelled in excitement. Kyo looked over at Kei and raised her hand punching her in the arm. "JINX!! I calls it!" Kei looked at her friend in confusion.

Tilting her head, Kei frowned. "What's that mean?" Kyo grinned and punched her friend in the arm, again. "WAH! Why'd you do that?" Kyo raised her hand again and punched Kei's arm for a third time. "I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME!" Kei cried out, kneeling down and hiding her hands over her head.

Sighing, Kyo shook her head and looked down at Kei. "You aren't supposed to talk till someone says your name and frees you from the Jinx." Kei looked up at her sniffling, Kyo only sighed again. "YOU are the one that made up those rules."

"What do you mean 'It's Grimmy'?" Yoruichi asked with a rising sense of dread.

The two girls turned to the cat like woman and smiled. Kei puffed up like a blowfish. "I could never pull off being bald…"

"Left field!" Kyo snorted and let out a loud roar of laughter. "WHOOOOSH!"

Chuckling nervously, Kei mumbled a quiet apology. Kyo only patted her friends back. "It's okay. I couldn't pull it off either!"

"What is wrong with you two? Were you dropped on your heads one to many times?" Jinta growled out in annoyance. He was started to find these two very frustrating. "What did you mean, it's Grimmy?" The two girls shrugged and want back to their own pointless banter.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

It was only about thirty minutes till the rest of the ground realized _what_ 'It's Grimmy' meant. Kei and Kyo ran out the small shop in excitement. Both chattering about Grimmy and his gang of troublemakers. The Ichigo gang, all in their separate homes, suddenly felt an amazing aura appear from no where.

The whole earth seemed to shake with its intensity. "Oh, Grimmy knows how to make an entrance," Kyo said with a brief look of approval.

"Wow, he looks hot," Kei said, holding back the drool, as she stared up at Grimmjow. "Ima need tissues and, and, a box of HOLYSHIT!"

Kyo giggled along with her friend as they both looked up and watched the rip in the sky grow. She leaned over to her color lacking counterpart. "I think he does the added effect to be _scary_." She corrected her, causing Kei's face to lighten in understanding.

"I see…," Kei said in a whisper. "Said the blind man," Kyo answered with a smirk.

Kei huffed, "To the deaf guy." Kyo giggled behind her hand. "Who didn't hear it."

Kei snorted and nodded. "So he RAN AWAY!!!" Kyo pointed out to nothing, "running headlong into the mute guy."

Kei nodded and watched where Kyo pointed as if it was all playing out before them. "Who fell into the boneless one." Kyo sighed and kept pointing, "Who he tried to curse out in sign language."

"But his fingers wouldn't move!" Kei proclaimed, throwing her arms in the air dramatically. Kyo crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. "Because they were stuck in the gooey boneless man!"

"_THE END!_" they both said, dancing in circles around each other. "Yay that was the best story!" Kyo said as she stopped because of dizziness, Kei fell to her butt yelling out her agreement. "THE GREATEST, best story."

Renji looked down at the two. "You knew this would happen?" he growled out, quickly returning his attention to the new _visitors_ that floated above them in the sky.

Kei and Kyo pouted at his harsh tone. "If we had known Grimmy was coming, we would have saved him some cookies!" Kei said with a rather threatening glare.

"Good point," Kyo said to her twin, leveling Renji with an identical glare. "As always, you are well armed with those aren't you?"

Kei's face suddenly relaxed and a smile stretched across her features. "I try to have reasonable points behind my insanity," she said, giggling.

"No wonder you are the Master." Nodding, Kyo had come to an amazing revelation. "You is the master for a reason!"

"Cause…" Kei looked at her with round eyes. "I is insane?" she asked pointing, to herself.

"Erm…" Kyo rubbed her chin, and then shrugged. "I'unno, but it helps."

"Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" Kei squealed, wrapping her arms around Kyo, hugging her tightly.

Renji rolled his eyes. "You two don't know anything about the war that is right under your noses."

Both Kyo and Kei looked down and huffed. "_There's nothing under there, liar._" The redhead just sighed; figuring the girls quite possibly had nothing to do with this invasion.

* * *

Okay...I have nothing against...  
_Blind people, deaf people, mute people or boneless people!_  
I also mean no harm too...  
_Peacocks, Dragons, Elves, Fairies, Giants, Dwarfs, Wizards, or Trolls..._  
Get the point? Good!  
_**AND...  
Only SweetYuya gets thanks...cause only she reviewed! so...  
THANK YOU! -tackle & hugs-**_

**_NOW!_**  
GO SEE **MY MINION** AND _HER PARTNER IN CRIME_!  
(**SweetYuya **& _Angil_)

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	9. My Stability

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

_**Well, this is the next step for our lovely Kei & Kyo pair!  
**_This was actually a bitch to write…  
I got a rough draft done….& sent it to my lovely **Minion (**_**SweetYuya**_**)  
**Who not only added all needed comma's and spell checked it…**  
SHE ALSO**…helped me where I was stuck…  
Normally I'd say she was co-funny in the stories…  
_**BUT THIS TIME SHE IS FULL CO-WRITER!!  
**_She threw idea's out for parts that I couldn't get to flow correctly…  
And most of them were so good I stole them!! **MWHAHAHAHAH  
**Well, is it consider stealing if she wrote it for me, and said I could use it?  
Either way! _ENJOY _the **Yuya **+ **WannaBe **_**FANTASTICNESS**_!

**EDIT:** When I went to edit this chapter some and reupload it - FF went crazy on me... I believe I found all the glitches in this chapter.. but if anyone happens to see something that doesn't quite make sense...please let me know. Thankyou!~

_**

* * *

My Stability**_  
It didn't take long for everyone to feel the intense pressure that invaded Karakura town. Nor did it take long for the battle hungry Grimmjow and his cronies to instigate a fight.

Kyo and Kei watched in astonishment as Renji tore through the sky with his Zanpakuto fully released. He was barely able to keep the invader at bay. The main problem was he was fighting with a restriction that the Arrancar were unaware of. Eighty percent of the red haired shinigami's power was locked away. Even so, he fought tooth and nail, buying time until he could release his bound powers. He just had to hold out till then. Suddenly, Ururu came out of no where, sending Yylfordt flying with a well times attack. Kyo gaped as the tiny girl began choking the life from the Arrancar, while her other hand delivered hard blows to his being.

"Yylfordt-sama…," Kyo whispered as her fellow Arrancar went into his released state, his body almost reverting to his original hollow form. The once pretty male now looked almost bull-like. She stared wide eyed as one giant horn pierced the child's body, skewering her with one thrust. She could hardly believe it, one she considered a comrade merely laughed harshly as he tossed aside the little girl. He sent her body flying through the air as though she were a rag doll and not a living, breathing child.

The black haired Arrancar couldn't take her eyes off of the battle; she even failed to notice Kei leave her side. Kyo watched in sick fascination as the two men tore each other apart, ripping each other to shreds. The battle didn't look to be in Renji's favor, with his powers being denied to him and the overwhelming strength of the released Yylfordt, it was possible he would lose. "What…the hell is going on?" she mumbled, though her mind kept repeating the same thing over and over. 'Why is this happening?' Kyo was nearly knocked off her feet when a sudden burst of reiatsu come from Renji, the seal restraining him finally dissolving.

The sudden power leap caught Yylfordt off guard, and the brief pause in his assault gave Renji just enough time to take advantage of the opening. Renji heaved his snakelike sword's head at the other male, tearing the arm from his opponent. Kyo couldn't peel her eyes away from the sight before her. She didn't want this. She didn't want her comrade to disappear, nor did she want Renji and his friends to be harmed.

Her ears caught the sound of Renji's voice sending a command to his sword. "Baboon Bone Cannon!" With the order his sword shot out, the links separating and a bright red beam came from the swords great serpent mouth, flying towards Yylfordt. The deadly beam hit him, completely shattering his bulky hollow form, and killing him almost instantly. Kyo felt her jaw drop and her heart sank into her stomach. She did not know the other Arrancar well, but he was one of them. As it were, most Arrancar were cold hearted, cruel and battle hungry. The shinigami would be surprised to learn that Kei and Kyo harbored very little of those traits.

Moving on almost instincts alone, the raven haired girl leapt into the air. Her normally brilliant smile now twisted into a grim frown. Those typically playful, bright eyes set into a deadly glare that was boring into one person alone, Renji.

Renji spun around, surprised to see the woman flying towards him. Swiftly, he dodged the sudden assault as she attacked, blindly lashing out. Her mind told her he was the enemy, _he _was the one who was trying to kill _her_. Instincts forced her to fight for her own well being. The Arrancar female felt as though her only choice was to fight against Renji to protect her own life, and the lives of those she cared for.

In the back of her mind, she continued to make note of Kei's reiatsu, though it was mostly her subconscious doing it. Clashing met her ears, yet she only half noticed that it was her own sword being slammed against Renji's. The male was reluctant to go full force against her, as he had grown quite fond of the two. He could almost see it now, the smug look on Rukia's face when she heard about this. 'I guess they are the enemy.'

Kyo let out a fierce growl, her black eyes not seeing Renji for who he was. Grunting in annoyance, the man pushed her back with less than threatening force. "Damnit! Kyo!" He cursed as she sped back at him to attack. Suddenly, she felt an intense and deadly burst of reiatsu, and her body froze before she could attack the redhead again. Something in the back of her mind screamed a warning, not for herself, but for her sister.

"_Let me go!_" Kyo heard in that oh-so-familiar tone, and her eyes darting over to where she last felt Kei's spiritual pressure. Seizing the opportunity, Renji swooped in and attacked, quickly rendering her immobile with one well placed blow. With her mind finally cleared of the intense urge to destroy her 'enemy' and her vision fading from the blow, she reached out to her friend. "Keiyo…"

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

While Kei stood by Kyo, who was mesmerized by Renji's fight, Kei was glued on Ichigo's own struggling battle. Her pale eyes widened as she saw Grimmjow swing his leg, the strike sending Ichigo propelling through the air. 'What…is…going on?'

Kei watched in dismay as her superior walked calmly up to her new found friend, blue eyes swimming in bloodlust. "Grimm…jow…," she whispered in confusion, her face freezing in horror when he began to pummel his fist into Ichigo's face. "GRIMMJOW!" she screamed, unconsciously leaving Kyo's side. Her only thoughts were to stop her feral Espada from doing the unthinkable. As she neared, her blood froze at the sound of sadistic glee that streamed from Grimmjow's lips, accompanied by the pained groans of Ichigo.

By the time she arrived at the scene, Grimmjow had thrown the orange haired shinigami into the air. With a twisted smirk, he leapt into the air, continuing his attack. Kei growled in frustration, yet her sounds were cut off as Ichigo's body came slamming into the ground in front of her. A huge crater lay in its wake, the substitute shinigami sprawled motionless in the center.

She looked up, annoyance clearly painted on her face. Above her, Grimmjow spat and glared down in disappointment. "EW! Don't spit it's a nasty habit!" she yelled, pointing up at the blue haired Arrancar, her normal attitude rearing its head even in dire times. The Espada looked as though he was about to rebut her comment, but he was interrupted by his previously indisposed opponent.

The dust had cleared, revealing one very angry shinigami. "Getsuga Tenshou!" he screamed, causing Kei to gasp in alarm.

With that command a deadly black wave flew from his blade, heading towards Grimmjow. The moment the blackness left his blade, Kei's instincts kicked in, telling her she must do everything in her power to protect her Espada. Using sonido, she placed herself between the two, taking the blow full force and flying towards the startled Grimmjow. Her face etched with pain, on her back a deep bloodied gash from the attack.

"Kei…" Grimmjow whispered, looking down at his half of the crazy duo. Her body slumped against his chest, his arms the only thing holding her in the air. Turning to his enemy, his piercing blue eyes bore holes into the boy, his fury apparent. Ichigo stared at them both, baffled and stunned by the girls actions. "You bastard," hissed Grimmjow, keeping Kei close to his chest.

Keiyo's pale lids fluttered open at the outburst, and she struggled to regain control over her body that was nearly paralyzed by the powerful blow. "What…happened?" she asked weakly. In response, Grimmjow only tightened his grip on her. Still confused, Kei stared down at Ichigo, expecting answers. Something in his appearance struck her as odd. 'Something…is not right about him. There's something…like us in him,' she thought, realizing he seemed to be struggling with something or _someone _inside his body.

"Hey, don't go spacing out on me, Shinigami!" Grimmjow growled angrily, Kei still held firmly against him. "No one fucks with my Fracción!" His handsome face contorted in rage as he looked down upon his prey.

Coming back to reality, the female Arrancar began to struggle against Grimmjow's death grip on her. Even with her wounds, concern for her new friend overtook her senses "Hey! PUT ME DOWN! Stop beating on Ichigo!" Kei tried to use her best 'obey me' voice, but it had never really worked on him.

Grimmjow held tight to Kei. "Stay put!" he growled as she tried in vain to be released from his powerful grip, completely ignoring his command.

Kei's frantic thrashing only increased when she felt a much more powerful and fearful reiatsu drawing near. 'Tosen!' Mind screaming in fright, she scanned the area, desperately seeking out the one stable thing in her life. Kyoki. Kei didn't really enjoy being around the three-men leaders, though she managed to remain calm in the presence of Aizen and Gin. Tosen, on the other hand, terrified her. He never took her nonsense, and one _look _from those covered, blind eyes had her wanting to hide behind Kyo. "Let me go!" she shrieked at her _captor _in fright.

Grimmjow either didn't sense the approach of Tosen, or was too preoccupied with his opponent to care. Hopping from one foot to another energetically, he was excited to resume his battle. "Woman, be quiet! I'll finish this shit here and take you both back!" he growled, irritated and confused by his Fraccións behavior. He was here to help them, why wasn't she cooperating?

Kei's eyes darted back and forth, desperately looking for her friend. Panic and fear rolled together, rising to form a ball in the pit of her stomach. "KYOKI!" she screamed, as she saw Renji hoist her unconscious friend over his shoulder.

Frustrated, and annoyed with the kicking and screaming girl, Grimmjow sighed and reluctantly released her. Unprepared for the drop, Kei's body plummeted toward the ground, a scream of fear leaving her mouth. Rolling his eyes, Grimmjow frowned at her dramatic and quite senseless display. As if sensing his thoughts, Kei's body came to a sudden halt, a sheepish laugh bubbling past her lips. "Oh right…we can float, hehe."

Of course, her new position presented another problem, giving her a small bout of chills. Whimpering, she looked down towards the ground. "I hate heights." Suddenly recalling the peril of her dear friend, she overcame her fear and scrambled quickly towards the fallen girl.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Renji looked up when he heard Kei scream, Kyo firmly draped over his shoulder. He couldn't help but shake his head as he watched her come to a grinding halt, giggling at her own foolishness. Amusement flew from his mind as another person appeared in the sky beside Grimmjow. Renji's auburn eyes grew wide, when Kaname Tosen, one of Aizen's top men, was revealed. The two men had a brief _discussion_, one it seemed the Espada lost.

Grimmjow took one last look down at Kei and Kyo before the giant rift closed in front of him. 'Stupid girls,' he growled in his mind, annoyed that he had been forced to leave the two in the hands of the enemy.

Renji watched in confusion as the two disappeared into the garganta, leaving the female Arrancar behind. 'What's that about?' Renji thought. Shortly after Keiyo's feet touched the ground, her unsteady legs carrying her towards them.

"Kyoki…Kyoki…Kyoki," Kei had chanted the whole way back to earth and continued her chorus as she ran past the injured Ichigo. She began to slow only as she approached Renji, suddenly very wary of the shinigami. "Put Kyo down, step way, and I won't skin you with a salty spoon."

"Now, now, Kei. There's no need to get upset," Urahara said, standing not far from them. Once Ururu was removed from battle, the lazy shop keeper kept to the sidelines, simply observing the battles.

Shaking her head, Kei crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. "No, I'm rock, you're dirt, and I roll over you. Now gimmie my Kyo!" Her normally playful eyes tightened with anger, quickly turning into a deadly glare. "**Now**."

"This is why you're the master and I'm the minion," said Kyo suddenly. Renji nearly dropped her from shock. 'How long has she been awake?!' The Arrancar girl seemed to be back to her normal, goofy self. Holding her hands out like claws, she wiggled her fingers. "I'm a minion, rawr."

Squealing, Kei bounded over to her friend to tousle her hair, her own wounds forgotten for the time being. "Who's my minion? Who's my minion?!" Kyo squealed as Kei giggled. "YOU ARE!!"

Renji frowned and shook his head, a bit disoriented with the turn of events. He quickly tuned out the insane babble, which he had become accustom to long before.

Kyo propped her head in her hands, and resting her elbows on Renji's back, smiling happily at her twin. "Don't fight with sexy red, Kei." she said happily, giggling at her Master's silliness.

Kei pumped one hand in the air. "I could so take his tiny ass on!!" She smirked back at Kyo, "I've got rope and…and a blindfold all ready!" The excitement evident in her voice.

Kyo laughed merrily from her perch on Renji's shoulder. The male glanced from one to the other, confused. The girl's didn't seem to notice, or they simply ignored, the gaping wound on Kei's back. However, Renji noticed the injury almost immediately. Auburn eyes scanned the wound in awe. 'How is she not in pain? Was it caused by that other Arrancar? And what the hell do they plan on doing with rope!' Renji's brows furrowed together, his cheeks taking a pink hue as he considered the more _naughty _possibilities.

Kei noticed the confused look on Renji's face and giggled, one hand flying over the top of her head. "WHOOSH!" she said with a smile.

Kyo tried to duck, throwing her hands over her head to cover it. "Oh shit, what just flew past?"

"A duck." Kei nodded, looking around for said duck.

"Quack?" Kyo said with a tilt of her head. "I didn't know ducks made whoosh sounds."

"Mhm" Kei bounced around Renji, who still held the 'secured' girl over his shoulder. "Special duck with whoosh quack."

Kyo seemed to think it over for a moment before nodding, accepting the explanation. "I wonder if he's tasty," she thought aloud absentmindedly.

Kei looked scandalized at the idea. "You can't eat the DUCK!"

"Awww, sorry." Kyo rubbed her head sheepishly. "But I like duck." She began playing with the ends of Renji's hair. If she was going to be hoisted over his shoulder, she might as well take advantage of it!

"But I…I like the duck alive!" Kei argued, absolutely floored that Kyo would want to eat the special whooshing duck, completely forgetting that the duck never existed to begin with.

"But he won't be tasty alive," Kyo teased her friend, "Gotta be crispy fried." She made a _nomming _sound as if to deepen the statement.

"That is why you cannot eat him!" Kei said with her hands fisted at her sides.

"Aww, you're no fun," Kyo said with a pout, causing Kei to suddenly feel upset as well.

"I will give you another one…A non-whooshing special duck." She could already see Kyo's face lighting up. "Maybe…"

"Yay!!!" Kyo tried to throw her arms in the air, but remembered she was hunkered over a rather bony shoulder. "Erm, can I get down now? As pretty as you are, your shoulder is digging into my tummy."

Shaking his head, Renji glanced back at Urahara who only shrugged. Setting the onyx oddball down to her feet, he looked the two over with a sigh. "You two are crazy," he muttered as Kyo rubbed the back of her head where he'd hit her for the second time.

"NOT CRAZY!" Kei protested loudly, patting Kyo atop her head lightly. "Creative," she corrected, nodding to her dark haired companion. Both girls eyes were focused Renji, neither noticing the huge gate that began to form behind them.

Kei and Kyo both felt and saw Renji stiffen at the powerful reiatsu that appeared suddenly at their backs. The girls quickly turned, Kyo's jaw dropping at the interesting sight of the two gates opening, emitting a blinding light. The two stood frozen in both surprise and a tinge fear, staring mutely at the newcomer. Kei was the first to come out of the stupor the two seemed so prone to fall into.

"Kyo…" Kei nudged her friend's side. "I wish to hug him."

Kyo's head slowly shook back and forth, a silly grin appearing on her face. "Oh no, Kei. That's not even brushing the surface of what I wish to do with him."

"True…" Kei smirked as the two girls split up and circled the new arrival. They scanned the man up and down, taking in every last feature with a look of awe plastered to their faces. "_…but hugging would be the first thing._" The girls met up again and stood in front of him. "Then, like,_ OOOO LORDY GLOMP HUG_, while he's distracted - its tackle, tackle and ATTACK!" It was odd how their voices seemed to double at times, but when one was around the girls enough, one got used to it.

The two girls went to leap at the new male, but were hastily pulled to an abrupt halt by Renji. The redhead looked up at the other man and gulped. "Good evening, Captain." Renji quickly pushed the twins out of his Captain's sight before briefing him on the current situation. The girls pouted, none too happy at being denied in their attempt to glomp the handsome man.

Kei poked her friend in the forehead, but Kyo's eyes remained fixated on Byakuya. "Kyo…" She poked her again. "Kyo!" Frowning, Kei looked from the pretty new male back to her friend. "KYOKI!"

Kyo's body jumped as she came back from her glassy eyed gaze. "Sorry, I was looking at him." She pointed to Byakuya with a smirk. "He is dis-crack-tin."

"Huh?" Kei answered intelligently.

"I said he is distracting," Kyo replied with a sigh, finally turning to Kei. "But I said it in a _ghetto fabulous_ way."

Kei's checks puffed up. "I ish not ghetto fabulous, I guess." Kyo shook her head. "Me either."

"I was kinda lost." Kei looked back towards Renji and the man he called Captain. A huge grin appeared on her face. "Hey Kyo, you think he's like a pirate Captain?"

Kyo only snorted and shook her head, Kei was so silly sometimes. An idea popped simultaneously in to the girls head, and they looked at each other with matching grins. Eyes shinning with mischief, the twitty twins vanished from sight, putting the two shinigami immediately on alert.

Byakuya discretely looked around the area, Renji more apparent in his search. 'Damn girls are making this difficult. I'll never be able to save their asses if this continues!'

Kyo peeked out from her new hiding space. _"Dun…dun…dun…"_ Kei vainly attempted to hold back her giggles, peering out from the bushes she hid behind._ "Dun…dun…dun…"_

Kei was the backup on this mission, so she stayed in her spot as Kyo stealthily reached up behind Byakuya. The raven haired Arrancar's hands were just a hairs breadth away from the unusual hair ornaments that adorned the male's dark hair. Still giggling in anticipation, Kei gasped when the Captain reached out and grabbed Kyo's wrist.

"AHHH! It's a trap!!" Kyo twisted in his powerful grasp, her eyes looking towards Kei's hiding spot. "RUN AWAY MASTER!!" She squealed. Much to her dismay, her twin ran out, but not in the direction she had meant. Dashing from her cover, Kei jumped towards Kyo, latching onto the girl's waist and holding tight. Even Renji groaned at lack of intelligence proven by the pale female. Sighing, Kyo looked down at her friend, then back at her arm that was still held in the air, high above her head. "We are so gonna have to wait until he's asleep."

Relinquishing her death grip on the other girl and stepping back, Kei nodded, her colorless eyes glancing suspiciously up at Byakuya. "Mental note…tie him up first."

Kyo winced as his grip on her tightened, cutting off the flow of blood to her hand. "Owie," she whimpered.

Kei tapped Byakuya's shoulder, her other hand on her hip. "No pain. Pain isn't allowed in this game! Pain equals bad, bad, bad stuff!!"

"Are these the captives, Lieutenant Abarai?" The redhead held back a frown, but nodded in response. Byakuya either didn't hear Kei or choose to ignore her. The latter of the two, more likely than not.

"You're a Lieutenant?" Kei asked, seemingly unaware of their current danger, as well as her bloodied back. She was more interested in the sexy redhead they had become friends with than other matters. "Wow. We're only Fracción." She looked up at Kyo. "Is that like a Lieutenant?"

The Kuchiki heir continued to act as if the two girls didn't exist, his eyes blankly staring at his subordinate, paying no heed to the girl he held dangling in the air. "Why are they not restrained?" he asked, holding her away from him, as if she'd dirty his being if he allowed her closer.

"They weren't really seen as a threat, sir." Renji ventured, eyes glancing towards the two girls he'd befriended. Byakuya scoffed at his underling, clearly showing his disapproval of the situation. With a flick of his wrist, he sent Kyo flying towards Renji. Fortunately, he'd been prepared for such an action, catching the girl with ease.

Appalled by the rough treatment of her friend, Kei's colorless eyes blinked at the Captain before her, astonished by his callous behavior. "Not cool!" Before the words even completely left her mouth, she found herself following the same path as her friend, flying through the air and into the waiting arms of Renji. She resisted the urge to squeal in delight, after all the man had not meant for her to enjoy the 'ride'.

"I want them restrained immediately, Lieutenant." With a regretful sigh, Renji obeyed, accepting a coil of rope from Urahara and tying the two women up. "They are to be imprisoned in the Seireitei upon our return." Rather than fight back, the senseless simpletons quietly observed him, allowing themselves to be tied without a fuss.

With a smirk, Kei turned to Kyo. "I think this rope would look better on Renji." The snowy mane maniac giggled at the thought of a tied and leashed redhead. To his credit, Renji did his best to ignore her rather blatant innuendo, thankful that his strict Captain didn't seem to notice the blush rising on his cheeks.

Kyo bit her bottom lip, thinking about her friend's idea. "I wouldn't mind being tied up, if it was him doing it." The dark dunce practically purred her eyes glued to the handsome Captain. The stiff male hardly even batted an eyelash at the comment.

The two winced as the rope cuffs were tightened, tied much more elaborate than before. A whining sound left Kei's throat, she no longer found this '_game_' fun. The wound upon her back seemed to finally be taking its toll. Without the distractions her mind began to feel the pain lacing through her.

Kyo pouted as she looked over at the confused and injured twin. The white haired girl didn't seem to understand what they did to warrant such treatment. The black haired girl, on the other hand, was trying to figure a way out of this rather troublesome situation.

"He's one of those mean Captains." Kei sighed, kicking the dirt below her feet, secretly trying to hit the impassive Captain with it. "I don't wanna walk the plank." Mumbling, the two were led through the odd gates by the flustered, yet disheartened Lieutenant.

* * *

_I am proud to thank my reviewers!!_

**:** SweetYuya **:** Miko-Valkov **:** blackghost7 **:**  
**:** Uraharas Hat **:** mmmcereal **:** uzura-chan **: **James & jamescc (who I believe are the same person) **:**

_-giggles- I'm so glad people are enjoyin' the insanity of both Yuya and I!  
_It's surprisingly fun to write…who knew. **BWHAHAHAHHA  
****&** onto Kei and Kyo's next adventure….  
Can Soul Society handle the deluded dimwits?  
Will Kei get to tie **Renji **up?  
Can Kyo convince Bya to tie _her _up?  
-snort- I'm a perv…  
Well, off I go…  
_**PS. NEVER AGAIN WILL I WRITE SERIOUS KEI & KYO!! I ISH ON STRIKE! HAHA**_

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	10. My Instability

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

_Well, it's been a while hasn't it?**  
I'M BACKKKKK :D hehe.  
**_Well sorta -snort- I hope this is semi-okay..._**  
I'm a bit nervous - but I suppose it's cause I haven't written anything in a while.  
**_Of course thanks to my minion, who without Kyo would NEVER exist. (Literally actually haah)  
And lets all thank GOD (Aizen AKA my father) for getting the interweb back up for my lovely minion!  
Cause lets face it...life without the minion-yness is BORING!  
_**Either way - on with the Kei & Kyo MADNESS**_

_**

* * *

My Instability**_  
"Oh…my shit," Kei said, her eyes widening as she took in their new surroundings. After the blinding light of the gate faded, there was a dark and dreary like hallway thing that the two were led through. Then they emerged and they were on a dirt road, facing a huge old Japanese style home.

"Jeepers…," Kyo mumbled, and that was all it took for the games to begin.

"Peepers," Kei replied with a smirk. Kyo glanced over at her smiling. "Creepers!" Renji smirked, as he peeked back at the two girls, his Captain ignoring them in favor of giving orders to the guards of his family's personal gate.

Snorting and looking away Kei countered again. "Sleepers." Kyo huffed and if her hands were not tied, she would have put her hands on her hips. "Meepers."

"Weepers," was Kei's response, followed by Kyo's "Leapers". Which lead to Kei's next word being, "Sweepers". Causing Kyo to frown and mumble her next, "Beepers".

It took Kei a second but a huge grin broke out on her face, her eyes dancing with amusement as she looked at the two men holding them captive. "Reapers." Kyo was silent, staring at the ground with a look of concentration on her face. A minute passed and Kei bounced on her heels. "I WIN!"

"Damn," Kyo muttered under her breath as she let out a low chuckle, watching Kei bounce around, her hands bound, chanting 'YESH, YESH, YESH!'. Kyo lightly sucked on her teeth. "I was going through the damn alphabet, well played, well played."

"HA! So was I!" Kei said, lifting her tied hands and pointing a finger at Kyo. "If you had one I was _so_ screwed!"

Under non-tied-up circumstances Kyo would have been rolling on the floor laughing at Kei's antics; however she was only able to let out a loud laugh instead. "And you picked the best one of all!" she said, shyly glancing at the dark haired soul reaper who seemed to have forgotten about them.

Kei giggled as she bounced over to the idle Renji, pouting up at the male while holding up her tied wrist. Hoping he'd get the hint and untie her, she was in a new place and she was dying to explore.

"DAMN! Keepers!" Kyo said, finally looking at Kei who Renji tried in vain to ignore.

Still pouting and gently nudging Renji with her tied hands Kei spoke, "Awe man, if you got that earlier I would have lost."

Kyo nodded and sighed, knowing the sexy redhead was not going to give into Kei's cute pout this time. "I always think of shit too late," she muttered, Byakuya finally returning to them, and gesturing for Renji to bring the captives along. Not a word left the mans lips, much to Kyo dismay of wanting to hear his dark-deep voice.

Renji sighed as he led the girls away. "Senzaikyū, Captain? Isn't that a bit much? They haven't really shown any threat." He didn't feel the need to put the girls into the power restricting cell, it wasn't necessary. Then he glanced back, remembering that Kyoki _had_ attacked him.

"Are you questioning my orders, Lieutenant Abarai?" Came the unhesitant voice of the male walking before them all.

Renji rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to sigh. "Of course not, Captain."

Kyo looked over at her grumbling friend, Kei not liking Renji's lack of response to her pout. Then something caught Kyo's attention. 'Blood…' The side of Kei's once white coat was soaked in red. "KEIYO!" she suddenly yelled, bringing all attention to her. "You're bleeding!!" When Kei turned to her, Kyo noticed her normally pale skin was ashy and sickly.

Kei lifted her arms and began running in a circle trying to look at her own back. "Hmm, now that you mention it…" Her words slurred as her body finally gave way to the injury to her back, loss of blood, and just plain exhaustion.

In a flash, Renji was there to stop the girl's unconscious tumble toward the ground. 'These two keep ending up on me or in my arms somehow,' he thought with a chuckle, though the laugh quickly died in his throat when he felt a watery substance on his arm. Quickly he pulled the girls body to lean against his own, looking down to inspect her back. "Oh fuck." He removed his arm, that was now drenched in the gooey red liquid. 'How did we not notice it was this bad?'

Just as fast as Renji had moved, Kyo was beside them, her hands miraculously free of the rope that once held them together. "FIX HER!" she proclaimed loudly, not understand why her friend was hurt. Kei had never been injured like this before; Kyo was at a lost as to what to do.

Byakuya quickly turned and grabbed hold of Kyo, his eyes shifting down to her now free hands. Kyo struggled in his grip, agitated that her friend was injured. Even if Byakuya's mind was still trying to understand how the girl had freed herself, he voiced his instructions to his Lieutenant. "We still have a ways to the cell. Get up."

Kyo's eyes widened, they might not have thought she was listening but she was. "Kei wont be able heal in that place!" she said in a serious voice, very uncharacteristic for the normally playful girl.

Byakuya nearly scuffed, as he began to walk dragging Kyo along with him. "The health of an enemy is not our problem, you both will be detained. It's our law," he said simply, though his mind did wonder why the girl hadn't tried to run away sooner. It was obvious that their binds were not as secure as the two Shinigami had thought they were.

Renji stood in silence, cradling Kei to his body. He was in a slight panic, though he didn't let it be seen. He didn't know what he should do. He didn't want Kei to bleed out, but he also knew that denying his captains orders would be a drastic mistake. A stroke of brilliance hit him. "Captain, if the prisoner dies we cannot question her about the traitors," he said, hiding the smirk on his face. If his Captain wanted to live by the laws, then Renji would just use it against him.

Byakuya stopped in mid-step for a second before he continued along, pulling Kyo after him. "Very well, see to have her treated and then place her in the cell."

Kyo glanced back at her friend, Renji sending her a wink before he vanished from her sight. The dark girl's heart sank. She just hoped Kei was returned to her before the pale girl woke up.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

"It's a conspiracy," Kyo grumbled as she was pulled along the shaky long bridge, though she didn't expect the silent - stick in the mud - Byakuya to answer her. He hadn't spoken to her the entire trip, how she hated the silence. She chuckled as she could almost hear Kei's response. 'Yes, this _is _evil.' But the witty white woman was no where in her sights, causing Kyo to sigh. "Ya know for all your good looks your personality blows." A small yelp was all she could get out after her comment, as the male none to gently threw her into the cell.

Byakuya all but looked down his nose at her. "You would do well to stay put. You're partner will be accompanying you soon." He turned to leave, causing Kyo's heart to sink lower. She hadn't been alone in such a long time, and the mere thought frightened her. Not only would she be in the big dark room by herself but she was in the new world. And the way this odd tower sucked her energy and power from her made her want to hide in the corner.

With speed that would surely rival shunpo, she was by his side before he would leave. Her slightly shaking hand reaching out to grab hold of him, in attempts to keep someone with her in the cold room. Even if it was the quiet Captain.

Byakuya did not hesitate to draw his sword on the woman, though he noted that he felt no malice in her attack. Kyo gulped her eyes wide and a pout on her face. "What did we do to you?" she mumbled, taking a step back and putting some distance between her and the cold shinigami. "Renji said we are the bad ones…but you are the ones who are sticking us in ropes and cells." Scratching her head, she turned and walked over to the lone chair in the room. Sitting, she crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap. "I want Keiyo back."

Byakuya watched the woman for a moment, many things running through his mind - none of which were expressed on his face. Slowly and almost gracefully he sheathed his sword and turned. His Haori and hair quickly flying through the air with his swiftness. Without words the large stone door was slammed down upon his departure.

Kyo's hands tightened in her lap as she closed her eyes and decided to wait silently for Kei. Her mind raced, wondering if her friend was okay. 'I think we may be in over our heads, Keiyo.'

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

At the same time Renji had taken Kei to the medical division, Byakuya was heading to the Commander-General to report his findings.

The fourth division Captain looked down in a silent awe. "You want me to heal her?" she questioned in a soft voice, even as her eyes traveled to the worried looking redhead, her attention stayed on the stationary girl on the bed.

Renji nodded and wiped the worry from his features. "Yes, we need them both to be healthy for…" He paused for a minute and sighed internally. "…for interrogation," he muttered, not liking the sounds of it. Unohana studied the younger man for a minute before nodding and stepping closer to the injured girl.

"I see," she said simply, before smiling down at the odd new woman. "I don't know what I can do. I'm not sure what she is. But I will try my best." Renji had to fight the silly grin that wanted to appear on his face and simply nodded to the Captain.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Kei felt a sharp pull at her sore back, her foggy mind trying in vain to wake itself. 'Damnit, Grimmy better not have fallen asleep on me again,' she mumbled in her mind, just in time to feel another sharp pull at her battered back. This time, however, her pale eyes shot open and her mouth flew open just the same. "OOOUCHIE!!!" she hollered, jumping from the bed she was laid on and trying to hold her hands to her back, though it proved impossible as they were still tied. "Geez, it feels like they let Szayel-sama dissect me," she grumbled, lifting her hands to clear the sleep from her eyes. It was then that her still groggy mind caught on the presence of two people, one she knew to be Renji. The other, a slightly stronger - yet not evil aura. In fact it felt almost motherly, which was absurd to Kei since she didn't know anything of mothers.

Slowly pale eyes fluttered open; quickly the foggy images began to morph into people. "Renji?" she asked with a tilted of her head, her eyes briefly taking in her surroundings and the new person. "I'm hungry," she muttered with a pout sent towards him.

The male only smiled sadly at the girl as he took a step towards her. Only to have the female Captain stop him. "Hello dear, I am Retsu Unohana," she introduced herself, her hands folded gently before her. "If you return to the table I will finish healing you." Kei eyed her suspiciously, before shaking her head no vigorously. "I mean you no…"

Her words were cut off when Kei realized something important. "Where is Kyo?" the pale woman breathlessly asked, her eyes locked on Renji's. "I can't sense her, I can always sense her. Where is she?" A growl was working up her throat, a glare settling in her eyes. "Where is Kyoki?"

Renji opened his mouth to speak again, but Unohana beat him to it again. "She is being detained. Once you are healed you will be taken to her."

Kei again glared at the woman, her calm and gentle appearance was creepy to the Arrancar. "I'm healed just fine - take me to…" Her words were cut off and her body went rigid. A murderous and large aura taking over her senses. Renji only took a minute to realize what it was before he flashed over to the girl and removed her from the wall. Just as they stepped away, the wall she'd been leaning against shattered, a sword coming through and slicing the air in which Kei had once stood.

As the dust and debris settled, Renji nearly groaned at what he saw. Kei's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "Wow…," Kei muttered, eyes traveling up and up…and up. She took a moment to stare wide eyed at the tall male before quickly spinning and glaring at Renji. "YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T PIRATES!!!"

Renji smacked his hand to his forehead and allowed it to slowly drag down his face. "Keiyo…"

There was a sharp laughter from behind her and she looked back at the new being. "You're not a pirate?" she asked as she slowly stalked around the big male, a big grin appearing on her face. "You're hot," she said simply, reaching out and grabbing his hand. "I've got to show you to Kyo!" The attack and her earlier uneasiness erased from her mind as the new male became even more interesting.

Kenpachi only looked down at the white haired female who had taken his hand. Renji watched in horror, wondering what Kenpachi was going to do to the woman. The redhead was relieved, and confused when the big brute had allowed the hyper girl to pull him away. 'Must be used to the behavior,' he thought, remembering that the 11th division captain had to deal with his hyperactive lieutenant on a daily basis.

Kei bounced along, holding firmly to her new friend's hand. She either didn't care or didn't notice the odd looks she and her tiny entourage were getting. More likely the latter, seeing as she was just so happy to have made such a manly handsome new friend. The whole way she spoke nonsense, telling her new friend of the twins many adventures. Though she some how managed to leave out the fact that they were indeed prisoners.

Kenpachi only watched in detached wonder as the much smaller woman pulled him along. His eyes flicked to her hand in his large paw, and a smirk came to his face. 'Strong.' Was all his mind was telling him, though he found his eyes traveling to the woman's body and his mind quickly wandered. 'Hot.' Was the next thought that flooded his mind. Renji only glanced behind him, warily watching the two as he led them to the cell in which Kyo was being held in.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Jabbering the whole way with the big scarred male, Kei bounced happily in step. Renji took the final steps across the rickety old bridge. And with a deep breath the large stone door opened, revealing a large dark and dingy room. Kei was ready to tell Kyo of her new friend and proclaim him as hers.

Though as soon as Kei saw Kyo, all thoughts of introducing her friends were thrown out the window. (Well the one window looking thing in the tower) With a squeal of delight Kei released Kenpachi and sped off towards Kyo. With a flying leap Kei jumped onto Kyo and giggled. "These Shinigami are silly, Kyo." The dark haired girl supported the other while raising an eyebrow. When Kei realized her friend wanted her to elaborate, so she did. "They asked me if Aizen-sama was my father," she said his name quietly, having learned fast that his name was like the plague here.

Kyo looked at her over her shoulder. "Ew!" she said with a disgusted look on her face. "Does that make Ichimaru-sama our mother?" She snorted out before covering her mouth with her hand.

"Then Tōsen-sama is like a scary uncle?" Kei asked back, finally sliding off of her friends back and bouncing to the front of her. Kei looked back and saw the very agitated glare on Kenpachi's face; he seemed annoyed that his pretty eye candy had bounced away from him. She leaned over and whispered into Kyo's ear. "You'd think I took away his pointy objects or something, shesh."

Kyo snorted and nodded. "He's gotta give it extra oomph since there's two against one." She commented on the evil glare as Kei let out a giggle into her hand. Kyo's eyes grew in excitement. "Steal the bells!" She proclaimed happily, causing Kei to jump and wrap her arms around her twin. Honestly, she was just happy to have Kei back and less alone than she was moments before.

"JINGLY!" Kei said with a squeal, which Kyo returned with an equally soulful. "And shiny!"

Their tiny reunion was broken when a third presence appeared within the tower. The two girls looked over and Kyo nearly swooned. Her eyes sparkled as she took in the handsome, silent, strict captain. Byakuya ignored Kenpachi's presence and turned intrusting his Lieutenant, Renji only nodded with a look of defeat. Turning, the redhead took in the two girls who looked at them curiously.

"Keiyo and Kyoki, you will be taken to the Commander-General to face your charges."

Kyo raised an eyebrow, her hand finding its way to her hip. "What did we do?" she asked, her dark gaze eyeing Byakuya.

Byakuya took the question with a grain of salt. "You existing is enough of a crime." Kyo felt pure anger for the first time in her life.

"How so!" Kei said loudly, jumping back and pointing at the three with a serious frown. "We are innocent on all charges," she said, holding her twins hand and pulling her to back away from the three men. Then a lopsided grin appeared on her face. "Well, if us being alive is the crime I guess we _aren't_ very innocent. Seeing as we are very much alive. But that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and believe me I've heard a lot of stupid things. Hell, half the time it's _me_ saying the stupid thing!" Kyo looked back at Kei with an odd look of 'shut up' on her face. Kei just chuckled and sheepishly scratched the back of her head. Then her face dropped, a sad look coming over had face causing Kyo to stiffen. The dark ones mind raced, trying to think of ways to get her friend from traveling down the dark road she was starting on.

Quickly, the sooty simpleton looked over at Renji. "Oh noes!!" she said loudly, her hand rising to her mouth in mock distress. Kei all too quickly took the bait. "He looks sad!" Kyo pointed to a now confused looking Renji. "Quick Master! Group hug!"

Kei gasped and nodded, the two girls took off to initial the hug attack. The two flinging their arms and wrapping them around tight yummy muscles. "Is it bad that I think he looks very good sad?" Kei purred, as she nuzzled into the males neck, her eyes closed in bliss.

Kyo giggled. "Nooooo! Cause I thought so too!"

Kei sighed and snuggled closer to the others body. "It's okay Renji…" she muttered.

"After all…it gave us another excuse to tackle him." Kyo reasoned as she finally opened her eyes and watched Kei nod. Lifting her head, Kyo looked from Renji back to Kei, and sighed. "Kei…"

The ivory imbecile only muttered _'hmm'_ before snuggling deeper into the male body she was currently wrapped around. Kyo sighed again and shook her head. "What are you doing?"

Kei pouted and refused to open her eyes. "Erm, a tackle hug attack?" she asked, not really sure if that's what she was still doing. It kind of felt like snuggling to her.

Nodding, even if Kei couldn't see her Kyo continued. "Yes…you are." She took a step away from Renji and smirked. "But you are supposed to be hugging Renji."

Kei's eyes popped open, only to be met with a large scarred chest. "Uhh…," she said intelligently and slowly glanced up. Her eyes locking on an amused smirk of Kenpachi as the big male looked down at her. "Oppsie."

* * *

_I am proud to thank my reviewers!!_

**:** SweetYuya **:** Miko-Valkov **:** Kita10566 **:**  
**:** Uzura-chan **:** DarksAngeloftheNight **:** jamescc **:  
& **I(heart)Bleach - I'm glad you like Kei & Kyo madness - they are always so fun to write :)  
**& **inSAnityfReAk (from DA) - Woot you have been converted to Kei & Kyo-ism!! Welcome to the INSANITY :D hehe The fork and Ladle shall SMITE ALL who tries to go against us!!

On another note I thought I should clarify the "Aizen is my father" comment in both the story & my Author note at the top...  
(Let me remind you this next part is directly from a PM between Sweetyuya & I. NOT MADE UP NOR REHEARSED!)

_It all started on Skype when I Brb'd cause my mom called me downstairs..._  
**WannaBe says:** she called me down and was like oh good you're here I wanted to tell you something.  
**SweetYuya says:** uh huh  
**WannaBe says:** (which was odd in its self because she called me down...she acted like it was a surprise)  
**SweetYuya says:** mkay  
**WannaBe says:** and I said "That you are a virgin, never touched by the hands of a man and that the all mighty and powerful GOD is my true father..."  
**SweetYuya says:** ROFLMAO  
**WannaBe says:** "Don't worry I already know because my awesomeness is far greater than that in which any human can obtain..."  
**SweetYuya says:** hahahahaahhaha YESH! I AGREE!  
**WannaBe says:** She just stared at me for a lil...and said "Where did you come from?"  
**SweetYuya says:** HAHAHAHA  
**WannaBe says:** in which I answered "Your womb didn't you feel me come out..."  
**SweetYuya says:** -patpat- lol  
**WannaBe says:** then she just told me to go back to my room...  
**SweetYuya says:** ooooo bwahahaha  
**WannaBe says:** i was giggling the whole way back up...mmmm :)  
**SweetYuya says:** ROFLMAO HAHAHAHAH  
**WannaBe says:** I have issues, but it's okay. My father will forgive me -hehehe-  
**SweetYuya says:** lol  
**WannaBe says:** I never did find out why she called me down in the first place tho.

And since Aizen is 'GOD' - He is then my father. -snort-  
That my friends is a **GREAT **conversation!

**Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


	11. My Inhumanity

**Disclaimer **- I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine!

-paranoid-  
This is probably horribly...NOT funny...but I tried...  
Sorry guys~ FORGIVE ME~  
Anyways... Kei and Kyo are being...well Kei and Kyo like...

_**

* * *

My Inhumanity**_  
Kei crossed her arms and tucked them behind her head. A look of thought crossed her features as Kyo circled the room in boredom. "Hey Kyo," the white haired girl said as she pushed to lie on her side. "Why is the room so tall?"

Her friend stopped in her small walk to think on the answer, as she looked up her eyes caught onto the window and the dark sky outside of it. Her mouth fell open and it took a few seconds before it snapped shut again. "Keiyo lets go out. I'm bored."

Kei jumped to her feet at the suggestion and brushed off her coat. "Pffft, you should have said so sooner - I thought you liked it here," she grumbled as the two crouched down before a burst of strength sent the too flying towards the window.

The two guards standing outside felt a brush of wind and quickly glanced around but found nothing to cause it. With the shrug the two went back to leaning against the wall.

Kei covered her mouth to muffle the giggle that wanted to escape. She sighed as her and Kyo landed on a rooftop. As Kyo took a deep breath, she thought of their escape plan. 'We will have to get our swords back, then we have to find a way to contact Aizen-sama… and hopefully we can get home.' She turned to Kei to tell her of the plan, when she saw Kei grinning like a mad woman.

"Kyo lets PLAY!" Kei proclaimed rather loudly for them being escapees.

For a moment Kyo only looked at Kei in disbelief and her brainless buddy smiled stupidly back at her. Suddenly, a grin that rivaled Kei's appeared on the dark haired girls face. "OKAY!!!" The two grabbed hands and jumped about on the roof before settling down to come up with a game.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

"Are you sure this is the right room?" Kei whispered, though she still hadn't been taught how to whisper in the first place.

Kyo nodded and quietly slid the door open; she giggled and pointed to the couch. Kei peeked in and saw Matsumoto sprawled out on the couch, drool falling from her mouth and an empty jug on the floor. "I bet she would get along well with Stark-sama," Kyo commented as the two crept into the room.

With a thoughtful smirk Kyo began searching the room, first they would need disguises.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Kei grinned as she pulled the black bandana tighter around her head, it was a difficult task but they both knew that having _bones_ sticking from your forehead was less than normal here. "These are rather slimming," she mumbled as she looked over at Kyo, the black shinigami uniform was most becoming of her friend.

Kyo nodded, her twin white bandana slightly tilted on her forehead. "We look good in either." She shrugged and turned to leave the hiding place they'd changed in. "I suppose its cause of the colors."

The two were flipping through the air as they sped across rooftops, when suddenly Kyo came to a stop. Kei skidded to a halt and turned to preposterous playmate with a tilt of her head. When Kyo suddenly took off in another direction, Kei scrambled to catch up with her. "What's up?" she asked as they bounced from roof to roof.

Kyo's gave her a half grin as she sped up. "We did say we'd wait till he fell asleep." She noted Kei's confused expression and but only smiled wider. "Though I'm not sure if we'd be able to tie him up."

In minutes the two were staring down at an old Japanese style home. Kei was crouched down and Kyo was beside her with her arms crossed over her chest. Tapping her fingers on her arm, she continued to stare down at the building. "I wanna break in," she admitted, trying her best to look anywhere but at Kei.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Kei nodded and stood beside her friend. "Well, then we just have to get in right? It can't be too hard. I mean we _are_ the number one Arrancar's Fracción." One look from Kyo and she laughed sheepishly. "Well I _was_." Sniffling dramatically, she threw her hand up and the back of it lay delicately on her forehead. "I was downgraded."

With all the stealth they could muster, the moronic mates slipped into the complex. Every creek of the floorboards that went unnoticed was followed by a relief filled sigh from the girls. Kyo could feel the bubble of joy fill her as she sensed her new found eye candy only a few doorways away.

Kei bounced behind her as she reached for the door and slowly began to slide it open.

"Bakudo sixty one, Rikujokoro." Came the smooth voice of the one the two sought out to find.

Kei wrapped her arms around Kyo and hid her face in her friends shoulder, when suddenly numerous golden pillars shot out of the creak in the door and surrounded them. Kyo let out of squeal of surprise as the door slid completely open and she came face to face with Byakuya.

"Uh…" The dark dope stared up at the handsome male. "It seems you knew we were here." Byakuya's eyebrow twitched slightly and Kyo figured her words did more than state that they had underestimated him.

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

"Ropes don't work, buildings aren't safe," Renji grumbled as he stood behind Kei. "What th' hell am I suppose to do wit you two!" He let out a sigh and Kei only looked on innocently.

A pout came to her lips as she turned, poking Renji in the shoulder with her finger and then placed her hand on her hip. "I thought you said you were taking me to see the pirate guy!" She had wanted to meet the big male again and the redhead had told her she would. "LIAR!"

From down the hall Kyo turned and glared at Renji, all the while she could feel Byakuya's eyes boring into her spine.

Renji only let out another tired sigh. He was not prepared for this at all. When his captain had called for him to come to his home immediately, he had rushed there. The tattooed male did not expect to see Kei and Kyo kneeling before Byakuya with their heads down in shame. Like two children who had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar before dinner. But after he was informed of their little _adventure_ he had to control himself to keep the smile from coming to his lips.

The good mood he'd created while thinking of the girls explaining their detailed plan to capture his Captain while he slept was quickly dashed when the door behind Kei unlocked.

In her shock Kei jumped and latched onto Renji's arm as she stared accusingly at the man who had opened the door. "Why do you want to meet him? Is your purpose to try and harm the Commander-General?" The short, round little man asked with a dull tone. The random male had probably misheard the girl through the door, because Renji doubted Kei's 'pirate guy' was the Commander-General.

Kei simply stared at him before she burst out in laughter. Releasing Renji, she continued giggling. "You…" She tried to stifle her laugh into her hand before speaking again. "You look like a burnt marshmallow." She began to laugh even harder as she heard Kyo snort and giggling from down the hall. Renji smirked as Kei took a deep breath and finally rid herself of the giggles.

The little round man glared before he stepped out of the door way and gestured for her to enter. Kei bit her lip and sent a glance to Kyo down the hall before peeking back at Renji. The redhead gave her a reassuring smile, and Kei took a step into the room. As Renji went to follow the other man stopped him. "This is an interrogation Lieutenant Abarai. You cannot enter." And swiftly slammed the door in his face.

Down the hall Kyo frowned as she looked at the male who had opened the door before her. A tall thin, but muscular man stood there and she couldn't help but pity Kei. All in all she'd give him a seven her eyes slyly looked at the man behind her. 'I'd still prefer him.'

Byakuya stood like a statue behind her, waiting for her to enter the room. The interrogator quickly glanced at her as she skipped passed and took a seat in one of the chairs. He turned to tell the person who had delivered the girl that they had to wait outside and froze when he came upon the stoic captain's face. "C…c…captain Kuchiki, sir," he stuttered and gulped. "You can sit in if you want."

The dark haired male briefly glanced down at the other before crossing his arms across his chest. "I believe that is against the rules," he said in a cold tone and the other merely nodded and excused himself as he shut the door.

Once the door was closed the male took on a whole another personality and seated himself seat across from Kyo. "Let's get straight to the point." He opened up a folder and whipped out a pen. "What does Aizen have planned?"

Kyo cocked her head to the side, her dark hair spilling onto the table before her. After a moment of silence she decided to answer their questions as best she could. The man watched in anticipation as the girl took a deep breath and opened her mouth. "A…tea party." His eyes widened to an almost comical proportion when he saw her rather serious expression.

Quickly composing himself, he cleared his throat to continue. "Why are you here?"

Biting her lip, Kyo gave him a raised brow and in a slightly confused voice she answered, "You…brought us here."

The man let his head fall a little in defeat and he rolled his eyes. 'This is going to be a _long _interview.'

In the other room things weren't going any better. Kei was crouched down in the chair and her hands were planted firmly on the table. A look of pure seriousness and concentration etched on her face.

"How many are in Aizen's army?" the plump questioner asked.

Kei's face swiftly fell into confusion as she scratched the back of her head. "Umm, is this a trick question?" Her body slouched back and her knees rested against the table's side. When she only received a fierce glare in answer she slammed her hand onto the hard table surface. "PASS!"

Kyo leaned back in her chair, letting it rest on the two back legs as she was growing bored with the male before her.

"How strong are Aizen's warriors?"

The dark one shrugged, her head rolling on her shoulders and her eyes closed. "I've only dropped heavy objects on two of them." She peeked from under her eyelids and smiled. "They survived though!"

It had almost been an hour and Kei was itching to move about and play. "Can I have my sword back?" The man answered with a quick, snippy, _no_. The girl only mumbled a quiet _'okay'_ before the next question was asked.

"Why were you sent to Karakura?"

Kei bounced on the chair, a smile stretching across her face. She could answer this one! "To play ninja!" The ashy airhead paused and gently rubbed her chin. "Or was it to _be _ninja…" Shrugging she tilted her head. "I don't remember, PASS!"

Kyo almost giggled as she thought of the things Kei was probably doing in the other room. The poor round interrogator would loose a few brain cells after this meeting.

"Who do you work for?"

"Well, that depends," Kyo replied as her fingers drew invisible pictures on the table.

"On what?"

"On lots of things. I suppose I work for Aizen-sama," she thought aloud, this male was an idiot and he was asking all the wrong questions. They'd get more answers from her if that drool worthy Bya was questioning her.

"You suppose?" he asked with a confused look about him.

Kyo nodded and then shrugged, giving him a look as if he'd asked the stupidest question ever. "Well there is Stark-sama, but I would say I'm more of a follower than a worker. He's very lazy."

"Who is Stark-sama?" the questioner asked quickly.

"The person I follow," Kyo smartly responded causing the other to sigh and let his had smack against the table before them. She smirked as she heard him mumbling, "This is getting us no where".

Kei was eyeing the other suspiciously. "Grimmy said I shouldn't talk to strangers," she mumbled, remembering how angry her _boss_ had been when she spoke to Yammy that one time.

"Who is _Grimmy_?" Kei didn't like the way the name sounded in the others voice but she quickly pushed it aside, in favor of conjuring a mental picture of her Números.

"Mmmm, he is the delicious controller of my fate!" she said dramatically as she stood in the chair and placed one foot on the table. She looked down when she was met with only silence and saw the other staring at her in confusion and shock. Quickly squatting back in the chair, she folded her hands on the table. "He is the person I serve."

The interrogator stared at the pretty black haired girl for a moment before sighing and continuing his questioning. "What do you know of Ichimaru Gin?"

Kyo felt a chill run through her body at just the mention of the name. But she shrugged it off in favor of answering the mans question. "That he is a pervert and his eye color has yet to be determined." She refused to say anything bad about Gin because she knew it would somehow get back to him.

Kei's company was less than appreciative of her looks. He merely scoffed at her idiocy but continued the questions. "What do you know of Tosen?" He was only met with silence and a wide eyed look. "Well?" Nothing changed, as if Kei was stuck in a memory. "…"

Suddenly the white wonder leaned in and held her hands around her mouth, as if she was telling an important secret. The interrogator couldn't stop himself from leaning in to hear. "Shhh! He's everywhere!" she whispered seriously, causing him to drop his head in defeat.

He growled, lifting his head. "Why were you made?"

Completely bored with the sap before her, Kei leaned her head onto the back of the chair and whined. "I'm hungry~!"

Ignoring her slight random outburst, the male pushed on. "Are you and your friend a pair?"

The talk of her Kyo perked Kei's mood slightly. Sitting up again, she leaned over the table, curious as to what the man was asking. "A pair of what?"

Noticing he had finally caught her attention, he elaborated. "Like partners in battle?"

Kei's face darkened as her lips fell into a pout. "What battle?" The man simply stared at her, his mouth hanging open slightly. Maybe these girls really _didn't_ know anything.

Getting tired of being questioned, Kyo decided to switch roles. "Can I have a drink?" she asked innocently.

"No." Was the others only answer, he didn't even bother looking up from the pad of paper before him.

"I bet Kei's hungry," Kyo said randomly before tapping her fingers on the table. "Can I have something to eat?"

"No." Again his eyes never drifted to her.

Raising an eyebrow and not really enjoying being dismissed so easily, Kyo continued. "Can I have a piece of candy?"

"No."

Narrowing her eyes, she pouted. "Can I have you?"

"No," he replied automatically, before his head snapped up and wide eyes took her in.

Shrugging, Kyo threw her arms behind her head. "It's a pity you're so negative."

Groaning in frustration, Kei's new plump companion laid his hands flat on the table. "Okay let's make this simple, are there others like you?"

Kei eyed him before lightly sucking her teeth. "Besides Kyo?" He nodded and she hmm'ed lowly. "No, sir," she replied happily, causing his head to snap up and his eyes to narrow on her.

"We already have reports of more who had appeared in Karakura"

Innocently, Kei tilted her head to the side and her eyebrow popped up in confusion. "You mean more Arrancar?"

"Yes!" he growled impatiently.

Kei rolled her eyes and huffed in annoyance at the questioning and the man. "Well, duh! Of course there are more of them, but there aren't more like _me _besides Kyo! Idiot." She added the insult under her breath.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Kyo's questioner sighed, he figured by now this questioning was hopeless. Yet he wasn't sure if the girl was _playing _dumb or she seriously lacked the ability to answer questions properly. "How do you get in contact with your leader?" he asked just for the hell of it.

Kyo excitedly leaned over the table. "Oh! We have this really neat voice box thingy. It's on my sword if you just…"

Rolling his eyes the man shook his head, quickly cutting her off. "You aren't getting your weapon back."

"Damn…," Kyo muttered, falling back into her chair in defeat.

"What are you doing here?" grumbled the man.

The question caused Kyo to raise an eyebrow and bite her lip. "Um…didn't… you ask that already?"

Suddenly, the door to the interrogation room slammed open and Byakuya strode into the room. The noble had been watching the session the entire time, and he was fed up with the circus that was taking place. Plus he had a particular question of his own. "Why didn't you escape before? You untied yourself easily enough." He waited for a moment, while Kyo just stared dreamily up at him.

Sighing happily, pleased she had not only gotten to see him again but had been allowed to hear that wonderful voice again. "Cause you're hot," she stated simply, a shy smile crawling onto her face. "Plus Renji did his best to tie us up." She nodded to herself, clearly missing the look of disbelief on the two males' faces, though Byakuya's was well hidden anyway. "He should really take lessons from Kei's Grimmy." Smiling, Kyo let her fingers dance along the table. "He duct taped us to chairs once."

Both interrogators left their respective rooms with their heads hung in utter defeat. Kyo and Kei bounced out after them before rushing to each other and chattering happily.

* * *

I wanna thank my reviewers~

**:** SweetYuya **: **I(heart)Bleach **:** neverXendingXsickness **: **kira michi **: **Miss Masquerade **: **HeadstrongNozomi

**I don't really have much else to say... sorry guys~  
Well, that's it for now...  
Hope someone enjoyed that...  
- WannaBeNinja -**


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